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It's All Right
A/N: One of the most touching parts, out of a zillion wonderful parts, of the BBC Radio Adaptation is Sam saying "It's all right" to his Frodo, when it most definitely isn't, but it still is, because he said it was. I imagine he went on saying that too. Told from Frodo's POV.
The last stage of our terrible journey was at hand. We stared wearily up at the mountain that loomed so high. We were dazed and parched, exhausted and starving. I fell to the ground, but you were there to pick me up.
“It’s all right, Mr. Frodo. I’ll get you up again.”
You carried me on your back up the mountain. “It’s all right now,” you said when it couldn’t possibly be. But still it was. When you let me down, unable to go any further and fear began to overtake me and I called your name, you said again, “It’s all right.”
I knew it was when all else told me it wasn’t. You said it was, so it was. Every time you said that the madness that was drowning me quieted a bit and I could go on a little further.
When my hand sought for the chain about my neck, you knelt by me and heard me whispering, "Help me, Sam! Help me, Sam! Hold my hand! I can’t stop it."
You took my hands and laid them together, palm to palm, and kissed them and then held them gently between your own. "Oh, now, there, there. It’s all right."
The compulsion that had been so strong a moment before vanished as I stared into your eyes that were so full of love and I knew again that you had spoken true.
You said it even at the fire, holding my hand, as we waited to die. “It’s all right, now, it’s all right.” I believed you even then, for you were never one to lie. Even with the world falling into ruin around us and the fire and fumes rising, it was all right.
You said it the first night after we woke, crawling into my bed and holding me as you had on our terrible Road, and stroking my curls. “It’s all right,” you murmured before kissing my head and settling in beside me. “It’s all right.”
And each night afterwards, whenever the dreams and memories came back and were too much for me, you said that as you held me and rocked me. “It’s all right, your Sam’s here, and he’s not going to let aught happen to you.”
I held onto you and buried my face in your chest so I could hear your heartbeat and knew your words were true.
After we returned home and the nightmares came, I would wake and feel you stroking my back gently as you tried to get me back to sleep. “It’s all right, it’s all right,” you murmured and the dark would recede and there would be your light softly shining on me . You sang softly to me then, one of your mum’s favorites that we both loved, and you sang it in Sindarin. I always wondered when you found the time to learn how to do it. It was so soothing that I had the same problem I had every night you sang to me in that I grew so drowsy, but I always fought it because I wanted to stay awake to listen to you. But you sang too well and I always fell asleep again. “It’s all right,” was the last thing I would hear you say. “It’s all right.” I would fall back into sleep, still feeling your gentle strokes, your whispered “I love you, me dear” and your tender kiss to my head and I believed you that it was all right. I always believed you, even when all else was falling apart in and around my heart.
I said it to you when nightmares came to trouble your sleep as well and you cried out for me. I’d hold you and stroke your curls and sing to you and before I kissed you and told you that I loved you, I would tell you, “It’s all right,” and you would believe me because you would fall back to sleep then, wrapped up in my arms and resting against my heart, assured that I was all right.
The last night two times I said it to you, I don’t think you even heard, and I didn’t mean you to, not with your ears. The first was the night before we left for the Havens. I had heard from Elrond that he, the Lady and Bilbo would be coming soon and I had decided long before that I would be leaving with them. Did you know it was those words of yours that gave me the strength to decide to leave for the West and believe even in that incredible pain, that your words would still be true? It terrified me that there could be a more powerful force in my life than your love and it was that force I was fleeing, but I think now you are still the strongest.
I stood at the side of your bed that night before and looked at you for a very long time. You were so beautiful, shining softly in the moonlight streaming in and all wrapped up in Rose’s arms, like you had always belonged there and always would. There was a smile on your face and that brought a smile to mine. I could have stood there forever and watched you, but soon would come our parting, at least in Middle-earth, though I hoped you would come across to Sea to me, when your time came.
The second was the last night we were together and I watched you sleep then as well and both nights I touched your curls ever so lightly, not wanting to wake you and I pressed the softest of kisses to your brow.
“It’s all right, my Sam,” I whispered and I hoped somehow you would hear that in your heart and remember it as I would remember all the times you said it to me and know it to be true.
A/N: I wish to take this opportunity to announce that Larner has given me the great honor of nominating me for a MEFA for "I Can't". You can visit the site at http://www.mefawards.net and vote for your favorite stories!
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