Chapter Eleven: Doors That Shut Out the Night but Not the Dark

Every moment you three remained with me, I was drawing you into greater and greater danger. None of us knew who our pursuers were, not really, but we soon learned. My dear Merry was nearly killed because of them. Our journey had barely begun and already I had endangered you three to the point of death so many times, I was beginning to lose count. Just traveling to Buckland, the Old Forest, the Barrow-downs, Bree. Every place the Ring attracted its own. Even in The Pony, there were those who wished me ill and the Ring recognized that. It called to that. It tried to get me to put it on while I sang that song, but I resisted. It was determined though. It changed weight on me as Bilbo said it did sometimes and I lost my balance and it slipped on my finger in the fall. That was how the Riders knew to come. In trying to prevent one disaster, I called down upon us a worse one. I remain amazed it was not the death of us all that night.

I am so grateful we meet Strider there. He saved us from my foolishness in so many ways. And now I have four brothers I must part from. By life or death, if I can save you, I will, he told me. As loyal to me as you three, he has been a blessing unlooked for and a solace to my heart, that when we had to part from my cousins, at least I knew they would be looked after. What have I done to repay him for all he did for me and us? Nothing.

* * *

I didn’t like entering Bree at all, the suspicious gatekeeper, the tall houses, the windows that I imagined the Riders to be hiding behind. It was almost too much for me, but I would have followed you anywhere, my dear, and I did. Nothing could have stopped me. It would have killed me if I hadn’t followed. Mr. Merry being attacked and the raid on the Inn by the Riders still give me nightmares at times and sometimes there are twists to it, like he didn’t escape or it was you instead that was captured.

But those are fading. I remember your courage in facing all the dangers the Ring threw at you and how you kept going through it all. I remember that the Inn was not a bad place once you got to eating and drinking and it was there we met Strider and Mr. Butterbur was that nice of a host to us. I smile when I think of how Mr. Gandalf described you to him. Fairer than most, indeed. So much fairer. I always thought so and you were that night, standing on that table, singing that song. You were enjoying yourself a bit before your accident and that was good to see. I treasure each memory like that because they became fewer and fewer and all the more to be treasured because of that and especially now when you are gone and I am left with memories. But I have hope too. Hope I will see you again and see you smiling and shining brighter than ever, my own beautiful Elven hobbit.