Chapter Forty-Three:  Elvish Airs

Oh, Sam, my ever noble and most valiant guardian! You defied everyone you weren’t sure of, even if they stood twice as tall as you. I think you would have defied the Dark Lord himself and I give thanks everyday and night that you need not to have done that for in that you would have been worsted. He would have had a stronger will than I. Faramir received his share when you thought he had given me too much sauce - feet planted apart, hands on hips, eyes on fire. I smile to think of it. I know that stance well as you would defy me at times when you knew what was best for me and I was too stubborn to give in right away, though you always did get your way. I never could stand it for long because I knew what was behind it and I loved you for it, though my words didn’t always show it when you’d make sure I was tucked in bed when I was sick and wanted no longer to play invalid or when I was writing too late and hadn’t yet made it to bed. A worthy hobbit in my service, I called you. None worthier. Faramir recognized it too. You have shown your quality every day since we met, dearest Sam. How I am going to miss all your care for me! I have been terribly spoiled. But Bilbo will do it for me in your stead, though I doubt he’ll have the strength to bodily remove me from the study chair and carry me to bed or hold me down when I want to rise from bed like you have done. He will kiss my brow like you do and tell me how loves me and I will close my eyes and feel your touch and voice behind his. I have missed him doing that and I look forward to more time with him, though I wish it could here as it was in the beginning, the three of us at Bag End.

Elrond told us we may find help unlooked for on the Quest and Faramir definitely was that, just when we needed him. The Road had grown more dangerous than we knew and I do not like to think of what could have happened had he and his Men not been there to protect us. I have dreamed of it though, another of those I have not told you about. I am weary of keeping secrets from you, but I cannot burden you anymore. What a blessing that Faramir was much more of the noble quality of Aragorn. It was a relief to be able to trust him, to eat fully again and drink and be clean again. I’m glad you learned to trust him. I did naught but to increase his grief, but he sought to comfort me in mine. I will miss him.

* * *

Captain Faramir gave us a turn or two, but he weren’t like his brother. He recognized your Elvish light too and he had an air all his own too that was not far from that. He held the Elves in respect and honor and that was what made me trust him as much as I did. Not enough at first until he showed his quality, but after that. I didn’t sleep a wink until he did that as I could not leave you defenseless and helpless while you slept and that Slinker was still around. I saw him and one of those Rangers did too. But no, Captain Faramir was as noble as Strider and Mr. Gandalf and it was just as Lord Elrond said, that we might find friends in the wilderness unlooked for.

I wish I could have come up with better words to describe the Lady Galadriel to the Captain. But how do you do that? It would be like trying to describe you. But I’m going to keep trying to do both for Elanor and Frodo have to learn about all their uncle. Elanor is just beginning to talk words that are a bit more understandable than her baby talk. She knows you by sight from the picture that hangs in the parlor and points at you and says ‘Fro’ and smiles at you. I don’t know if she remembers you any but perhaps she does, the smiles you always had for her and the way you held her and sang to her. I’m so glad you had that joy, my dear. Even if she doesn’t remember, I always will so she will always know how much you loved her.

We saw a lot of dark things on our Road and I wish you could have been spared it all, but if we hadn’t journeyed, then we would have never seen oliphaunts or Rivendell or the Lady’s Wood or felt the kindness of Strider and the Lady and Captain Faramir. There was enough light to guide us through the dark. Thank you, dearest, for saving the light for Elanor and Rose and our Frodo. They will be as happy as we were growing up because of you.

I know there is even more light now where you are now and I hope you can actually see it and feel it now like the sun of a warm Shire afternoon. I can almost see you rising your head to the Sun, eyes closed, arms outstretched, soaking it all in as you used to do here, but I don’t think you did after we came back. ‘I’m lost in the dark,’ you said once when I came in after you had one of your nasty dreams. ‘Lost in the dark.’ You kept saying it over and over again, softly. I don’t think you were even fully awake. ‘Oh, Sam, find me, please find me,’ you begged and it was such a despairing tone that my heart was just wrung out. I held you tighter and kissed your head and said I was right with you. You thanked me and nodded back to sleep. I hope you are no longer lost, dearlove. I don’t think you are from what I’ve seen, but if you still are, I hope you are lost in the light instead. I will find you in either place and stand with you. I know I will never be in the dark as long as you are with me.