Chapter Fifty-Two: Blessings

My dear Sam, you carried hope for me when I had long lost it. You never did, even at the Fire. You were well rewarded for it. You called out for light and water and you received it. I think of all you did for me - giving me your cloak when the mail you found for me proved too heavy for me to bear, the scratches you endured from those thorns we fell into when we jumped off the bridge after escaping from the Tower, the wondering and hope that my hope would return when we saw light as the smoke broke a bit, the offering to drink first the water we found in case it was poisoned, the midges you had to bear for the second time, the hand you held while I slept. As hopeless as I felt many a time, I feel the same way now in thinking how I could ever thank you. At any time, the Quest would have ended without your help. I’m glad we drank the water together, for if it was poisoned, then we would have died together, but it was a blessing instead and we went on together. I wouldn’t have gotten much farther without you. I wouldn’t have even escaped the Tower. I wouldn’t have had a reason to. I wonder sometimes in my darkest hours whether I ever did that black land. The wheel of fire has been branded into my soul and I wonder if such a mark can ever leave. But I know I did leave, at least physically for there are two other marks there too. One of them is yours. I know not who made the other, but they all say 'mine.' Yours I stroke often and it brings as much consolation to me as holding the queen's gem. I can warm my hands and my heart there and it brings me peace. The other does as well but even more so. All are fires, but only the one left by the Enemy burns me, the others sustain me. My memories have returned and I can look up the lands of the Shire and see The Water with my own eyes. I know I am at home, that it was you that brought me here, you that continue to give up your sleep so I can rest more peacefully, you who make sure I am properly fed and have enough to drink, you who makes sure my bedroom window always has a flower from the garden in the vase, you who still hold my hand.

You can say a million things without speaking a word,

A look and a smile say so much only meant to be heard

By the heart.

Sometimes the light of love shines best in the dark of life's storms,

And the bonds that are formed

Are not easily broken apart.

Your smile says you'll share your hope when mine is gone.

Your touch says you'll be with me when I can't go on alone.

The look in your eyes says you'll love me,

No matter what I do.

Oh, I wonder what I have done to deserve

A blessing like you.

* * *

Oh, dear, as much as I was beside you, I don’t think I will ever know how it was for you on our terrible journey, how dark it was, even though you told me of it and I’ve read more of it now. I’ve cried many a tear over it, wondering how I could have missed so much, wondering how I couldn’t have known what it was doing to you inside. But as dark as it was, it was also filled with light. Your light. You had given up hope, but you went on. You were tired, hungry, thirsty and cold, but you went on. I so wanted you to have some hope again, to lighten your load. I did all I could for you, carried you as far as I could. I couldn’t give up hope. I couldn’t. Not even now. I will see you again. I have that hope because you gave it to me. I look up at the stars and wonder which ones you are gazing at and I remember all the gifts we had been given. You didn’t see the star that appeared as the clouds broke as we hid from pursuit, but how like that you are to me. The Dark Lord tried to conquer, but he could not defeat you or the stars in the heavens or the sun in the sky.

Do you remember when I wrote this to you? Right after my mum died when you told me many of these words yourself for you there had already been hard times, even worse. I’ve added to it since and I’ll be showing it to you when I see you again.

I pray that if the hard times come,

I will have strength to be

Everything to you that you have been to me

For so long.

As you have been there for me,

I will be here for you.

You know if love is true,

It makes it easy to be strong.

Just lay your head on my shoulder,

Let go of all your cares.

You can tell me all about it;

You know I'll help you bear

Every burden, every pain, every fear.

That's why I'm here.

I don't always have the words to say,

But look in my eyes, take my hand,

And I hope you understand...

My smile says I'll share my hope when yours is gone.

My touch says I'll be with you; you will never be alone.

Look into my eyes, know I'll love you,

No matter what you do...

Oh, I wonder what I have done to deserve

A blessing like you.

A/N: The poem was translated by the queen.