Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search
swiss replica watches replica watches uk Replica Rolex DateJust Watches

The Wars of the Valar  by Fiondil

17: Adjustments

Nmo finally settled on an orange-red giant to sleep in. Before doing so, though, he did gather all his Myar around him as he nestled against the stars core with Irmo by his side. Manws Myar ranged around the corona of the star on guard, though they were privy to the conversation going on inside, a conversation that was both alarming and illuminating.

"Now, what do you want to tell me?" Nmo asked once he stopped fidgeting.

Everyone else had remained perfectly still while their lord settled. Maranw noticed that if any of them came within a certain distance, Nmo became agitated, so he sent a silent command to his fellow Myar to stay outside that distance. Only Irmo apparently was able to be inside Nmos space without causing his brother distress. Maranw sighed, wondering how long it was going to take before they got their lord back.

*He will never be the same as before, child,* he felt Manw bespeak him with compassion, *but he will still be your Lord and you and your brethren must take comfort in that thought.*

*Yes, lord,* Maranw acknowledged with some reluctance, then focused his concentration on Nmo. "Weve been having trouble with a certain part of E," he explained, sending the spatiotemporal coordinates automatically. "Nothing seems to want to stay put and we think...." here he glanced at Tindomerel and Calimo with whom he worked most closely, "we think time may be running backwards."

Nmo did not say anything at first as if thinking... or remembering. He turned to Irmo. "I thought Aul checked that area out."

"He was going to, brother," Irmo said, "but then Vair..."

Nmos expression was one of puzzlement. "What about Vair? She knows nothing of quantum mechanics or interdimensional physics."

Irmo gave his brother a considering look. "Do you not remember Vair and Therind being kidnapped, Nmo?" he asked as gently as he could.

Then the Myar watched as their lords aura went incandescent and they could all feel his shock as apparently a memory that had been buried now surfaced.

"The nermir," Nmo whispered. "The nermir... th-they... came and... I was... I was one of them."

"Yes, brother," Irmo whispered back, silently alerting Manwon an entirely different frequency about what was happening, "you were one of them... for a time."

"They were so beautiful," Nmos tone was one of awe. "They were so beautiful," he repeated, "and I was... I was...."

To Maranws horror and that of his fellow Myar their lord began weeping, leaning into Irmos embrace. Irmo rocked him gently. "And you are just as beautiful, brother," he said firmly, "else the nermir would not have accepted you amongst them, for they are Beauty personified and will not suffer anything that is not beautiful in their midst."

That seemed to be just the right thing to say, for Nmos aura quieted to its more normal hue, though it was still tinged with a shade of bluish-green that Irmo had come to recognize meant doubt to his brother.

"Do... do you think so?" Nmo asked hesitantly.

"Nay, brother," Irmo said with an encouraging smile, "I do not think so, I know so. Whatever happened you are still very beautiful. Dont ever doubt that."

"I dont feel...."

"What you feel and what you are are not always the same thing, child."

Manw was suddenly in their midst. The Myar bowed to the Eldest, who acknowledged them with a smile before returning his attention to Nmo. "Right now, your feelings are suspect," he said. "You should not trust them wholly where you yourself are concerned. Let us guide you there and, if not us, then Atar."

For a time Nmo did not respond, then finally the bluish-green tinge in his aura faded and he appeared more calm. Manw noted with interest and approval that Nmo did not seek to remove himself from Irmos embrace when he turned to address Maranw. "You were saying?" he asked.

Maranw realized that Nmos tone was once again that of his lord. He gave Manw a glance and, receiving a nod of encouragement, continued his report. "Weve done what we could to contain the area in question, my Lord, but we are at a loss as to what to do next. Lords Aul and Ulmo have not been... present of late, so we could not consult them."

Nmo nodded and turned to Manw. "Have Aul look into it, will you? If I remember correctly, I believed one of the higher dimensions was unstable and possibly causing the temporal disruptions." He gave a sigh of disgust. "I find it annoying that that part of E keeps sliding back along the spatiotemporal continuum towards Primal Chaos rather than towards Final Entropy."

The Ayanuzs tone was almost petulant and Irmo found himself laughing. "One would think that E is doing this on purpose merely to annoy you, brother, the way you carry on."

Nmo gave him a surprised look. "You mean it isnt?"

Both Irmo and Manw laughed and Maranw found himself grinning along with the other Myar. Then, Nmos aura shaded towards indigo and Irmo gave him a shake.

"Oh no, brother," Irmo admonished him. "Whatever youre thinking, dont."

"But its time to play," Nmo protested.

"No, Nmo," Manw intervened. "Its time for sleeping. You may play later."

Now Nmos aura moved toward green tinged with orange. That was always a bad sign, Irmo knew, for during his sojourn in the tenth dimension, he had learned the hard way that such a shift in his brothers aura presaged a temper tantrum. Manw obviously recognized the signs as well even if Nmos Myar did not.

"Remember what I told you, Nmo," Manw said firmly, attempting to stave off the coming storm, "about placing you among the Myar."

That stopped Nmo cold and sent a frisson of shock through the Myar listening. Maranw felt a sick feeling run through him at the thought of his lord suffering further humiliation even at the hands of the Eldest, whom he knew had only Nmos best interest at heart.

"You said you would do that if I didnt come back with you," Nmo said almost accusingly.

Manw nodded. "And I meant it. I also mean it now. Learn to control yourself and obey me or I will demote you until you are ready to resume your proper place among us."

No one moved while Nmo thought out the implications of Manws words. Slowly, the orange-tinged green of his aura faded, moving closer to violet again, though it remained darker than normal. Maranw was beginning to understand that this signified sorrow or perhaps even fear on Nmos part. He ached to see his lord looking so bereft and wished he could do something about it.

Then inspiration hit, or perhaps, on further reflection, it was a nudge from Atar. Maranw shot a private thought to his fellow Myar who all silently agreed to his plan. Then he sought permission from Manw to carry it out, which was granted. Finally, Maranw turned to Nmo with a bow.

"My Lord," he said formally, "we strove mightily on thy behalf whilst thou wert gone and find that we are ourselves weary of our labors. Wouldst thou grant us leave to rest with thee?"

Nmo gave his Chief Mya a considering look. "Are you truly fatigued Maranw or are you just humoring me?"

"Oh no, my Lord," Tindomerel broke in. "I have seen the Lady Est eyeing us of late and we feared she would order us to our rest and none of us wished to do so until thou didst return so we might give thee our report."

Calimo nodded and grinned. "We are that glad of thy return, Lord, for none of us wished to be on the receiving end of one of Lady Ests lectures."

There were quiet chuckles all around at that and when Nmo smiled as well, all were secretly pleased. He nodded. "No, we wouldnt want that, would we? Very well, my children, let us get comfortable then."

With that, he leaned further into Irmos embrace, much to his brothers delight, while Maranw directed the other Myar to range themselves throughout the star, though cautioning them not to settle too closely to the core, which all instinctively understood was off limits. Manw watched with amusement as two or three of the Myar began arguing softly over a particular spot that, frankly, looked no different from any other spot, knowing full well they were doing it only for show, even if Nmo was not completely aware of it. In fact, Nmo seemed to be oblivious to everything now that he was settled in Irmos embrace, softly humming Atars lullaby to himself as he slowly drifted towards true sleep. His Myar, listening to the tune, softly picked it up as Nmos mind faded toward unconsciousness and quietly serenaded their lord and master for a time until, one by one, they too slipped into a state of rest. Soon, the only Myar still awake were Manws People guarding the star. Manw gave Irmo a nod of satisfaction, then left him to watch over his brother and his brothers Myar alone.

****

A routine was quickly established. Nmo would awaken and demand to play, which was disconcerting to the Myar at first, though the Ayanumuz seemed to take it in good humor. Eventually, the Myar, especially Nmos People, fell into the spirit of things, even discussing beforehand among themselves what games they might play with their lord that would keep him amused. Nmo, of course, would have happily played away forever but Manw always set a time limit. Nmo learned quickly to obey the Eldest when he called a halt to the play and stated that it was time for the younger Ayanuz to take up his duties again. Then, with one of his fellow Ayanuz by his side usually Irmo or Orom, but occasionally Aul or Ulmo, and once even Manw himself he and his Myar would range through E, completing their tasks, with Manws guards surrounding them.

At first Nmo was hesitant and unsure of his duties or his abilities to carry them out. He apparently had forgotten much of his life before his capture and the memories were only beginning to surface. Sometimes he was at a loss as to what to do even when Maranw or one of the other Myar patiently explained the situation. There was a level of frustration that seemed to build up at these times and when the level reached a certain point Manw would step in and order Nmo and his Myar to rest. It became a game for the Myar to then start listing the pros and cons of sleeping in a particular star. Some even got up the nerve to argue with Nmo over their lords own selection and Maranw was secretly pleased at this, for Nmo showed better humor and was less likely to argue with Manw about it.

Not that it was always smooth sailing. At one point they were seeing to a certain quadrant of E that was somewhat further from their home galaxy than they had previously gone with their lord. Perhaps beginning to feel hemmed in by all who guarded him, Nmos aura went from pure violet to deep red in a nanosecond without any warning or provocation and he started lashing out at all who were there, sending electromagnetic bolts of energy into Irmo and several of the Myar standing nearest to him. None of the bolts actually hurt anyone, they were more stunned by the viciousness of the attack rather than by any pain they might have felt. Maranw, especially, felt the brunt of his lords anger and was dismayed. Almost before anyone else could react, Aul, Ulmo and Orom suddenly emerged and converged on Nmo, holding him down by the strength of their Wills. Nmo started screaming and thrashing about. The Myar, once they were recovered, looked on in shock and horror, not knowing what to do. Manw came then, along with Varda and Est. The latter two took the Myar aside to give them assurances and comfort while the Eldest handled Nmo. Irmo, once he recovered from his own shock, joined his fellow Ayanumuz in holding Nmo down.

"Do not let up your hold on him for a second," Manw commanded the others calmly.

"We havent seen one of these fits in some time," Aul said, almost clinically, for in truth, the combined Wills of the three Mhanumaz was more than enough to keep Nmo in place without overtaxing any of them. Irmos additional aid was, in fact, quite unnecessary, but the others welcomed it, recognizing the younger Ayanuzs need to help.

"What brought it on?" Manw asked.

Irmo, still recovering from the attack and already feeling fatigued with the strain of helping to constrain his brother, answered wearily. "I dont know. One minute we're discussing the need to move some of the dark matter here to another quadrant of E and the next thing we know he explodes."

"Rest you, Little Brother," Aul said not unkindly. "We have this one under control. We thank you for your help, but you are obviously in pain yourself."

"Aul is correct, Irmo," Est said, coming to them. "Come, let me check you over. You need to rest for a time and restore your energy."

Irmo reluctantly agreed but only after the Mhanumaz assured him that they had things well in hand, being careful to praise him for the quickness in which he called for help in spite of being stunned by the energy bolts. Manw further assured him that all was well and no blame was attached to him for what had happened. Est cast Manw a grateful look at that last statement, knowing full well that Irmo would blame himself for not anticipating Nmos actions.

In the meantime, Nmos tantrum continued, though not with its original force. Manw did nothing to stay it, merely waiting patiently until at last Nmo subsided, the orange-red hue of his rage flickering back towards a royal violet that signified his normal state of emotional calmness. When the last of his thrashings and screaming subsided and he became still, Manw silently ordered the others away. Nmo did not move and now his aura was tinged with yellow, his thought processes showing confusion. He became aware of Manw standing near him.

"Wh-whats wrong?" he asked almost fearfully.

"You attacked your brother and your Myar," Manw answered, deciding that telling Nmo the bald truth was the best course to take.

Nmo stared at him in disbelief. "No," he whispered, shaking in denial. "No, oh no, oh no...."

"Nmo, look at me," Manw commanded quietly, his tone brooking no denial.

It took some time for Nmo to comply but finally he did. For a time, Manw merely stared at the younger Ayanuz, seeing the sense of shame, guilt and fear roiling within him. He ached for this child but knew he could not show any sympathy as yet until he got to the bottom of it all.

"Why did you attack your brethren?" Manw finally asked.

Nmos answer was nearly inaudible. "He... he was hurting me... he was hu-hurting me... I didnt want him to hurt me anymore... you pro-promised he wouldnt hurt me anymore...."

Manw sighed, and sent a silent plea to Atar for help, but Atars only response was to send him a wave of love. It was not what hed hoped for but he welcomed the warmth of Atars regard nonetheless.

Nmo, in the meantime was weeping again, practically crawling before Manw and pleading. "Pl-please dont hurt me... Im sorry... Im sorry... I didnt mean it... please dont..."

"Oh, child," Manw said compassionately as he stooped down and gathered Nmo into his embrace. "None of us want to hurt you. Hush now, all is well. You must have had a very bad memory surface and felt threatened."

"He was hurting me... he was...."

"Shhh. I know he was," Manw whispered, "but hes not hurting you now, is he?" Nmos aura brightened a bit, indicating agreement with Manws words. "Then you are safe. Come, you should not be here." With that, he gave a command for all the others to follow and, carefully encompassing Nmos mind with his own, thought them back to their own galaxy. Then, he ordered Maranw to find them a suitable star and soon Nmo was wrapping himself around the core of a blue-white giant. Irmo gently rocked the core to help his brother relax while Nmos Myar stood around and sang him to sleep.

Those looking on from outside noticed how the stars luminosity would brighten and then dim in rhythm with Irmos rocking.

****

Once he was assured that Nmo was asleep, Manw joined the other Ayanumuz.

"Do you know what set him off?" Varda asked with concern.

"Do any of you recognize where they were?" Manw asked his own question.

"I do," Orom answered, his normally bright orange aura darkening somewhat. "Its near where he and I fled the time we encountered Melkor in Vardas star nursery."

"I thought you fled to our own galaxy," Varda countered.

Oroms aura went towards yellow, indicating denial. "Thats where we finally ended up," he explained, "but first we hid in a red giant." He gave them the coordinates and all could see that the star was very close to where Nmo had had his attack. "He barely allowed me to hold him through the spasms of disgust he was feeling at the time."

"Then you think the proximity of the place triggered the memory?" Est asked.

"Possibly," Manw conceded. "We just dont know enough of how all this works. Hes suppressed much of his memories, even the good ones. Atar has told me it was necessary for him to forget all so he could accept all. I did not understand at first, but now I think Im beginning to."

"Hes not asked after Vair, except that one time," Varda said, her expression one of concern, "and then he seemed to simply accept her absence as a matter of course."

"I do not think hes remembered the way he feels about her," Orom offered. "Perhaps the emotions he might feel are too close to what he feels towards Melkor but for a different reason."

The other Ayanumuz gazed upon Orom with some wonder and respect. Manw nodded. "You see further into our brothers fa than I suspect even Irmo does, my son. I imagine that in this regard you are correct."

"I had thought to summon Vair and Nienna back," Varda said, "for I was hoping that Vairs presence would help with Nmos healing, but now Im not so sure."

"I think you are wise not to, beloved," Manw replied with a warm smile for his spouse. "Nmo has too many other emotions to deal with right now."

"Yet, to deny Vair, Nienna or their Myar their rightful places beside us as we labor towards the building of Athraphelun," Ulmo suggested, "does not sit well with me, with any of us."

"I know," Manw sighed. "I think, however, in this we must allow Nmo to make the first move. When he himself asks after Vair, then, I believe, he will be ready to deal with the emotions attached to her memory."

"He still needs to release Vairs Myar back to her," Yavanna pointed out. "Theres been no formal ceremony of redemption. Technically, they still belong to Nmo, though we have allowed them to go with Vair."

"Yes," Manw agreed, "but let us deal with that later. When Vair returns will be time enough for all to be restored to their proper spheres. In the meantime, let us endeavor to prevent a repeat of what just happened." He turned to Orom. "You know better than any those places in E where Nmo might feel threatened by a memory. Mark them and give their coordinates to Maranw."

Orom bowed. "It shall be as you say, lord."

"I think we should take some time for relaxation," Est said. "I can sense that many among us are still upset and distraught. Some time in play, without Nmo this time, might be in order."

The others nodded and smiled, for play with Nmo tended to be somewhat frenetic. Soon, all were dispersed to pursue their favorite pastimes, leaving Manw and Varda to themselves.

"This is going to be harder than any of us anticipated," Varda finally said as the two settled on a nearby world that orbited a yellow dwarf star and incarnated so they could swim in the planets one ocean.

"Well survive," Manw opined with a wry grin as they entered the warm waters, "though I grant you, itll be a near thing."

Varda smiled, then her eyes glinted with mischief and before Manw could avoid it, she was pushing him into the surf. He came up sputtering and laughing and went to grab her. When he finally did catch up with her on one of the beaches of a small island in the middle of the ocean, it was because she wanted to be caught. After that, all thoughts of Nmo and their concerns for him fled as they enjoyed each others company.





<< Back

Next >>

Leave Review
Home     Search     Chapter List