35: The Price of Victory

They were all laughing by the time Tulkas finished his tale.

"It took quite a bit of convincing before Atar finally gave me his blessing," Tulkas said with a huge grin.

"Apparently," Manwë said, smiling. "Ambarhíni has traveled its orbit more than fourteen thousand times since Melkor attacked with the Urushigasumaz."

"That many times, huh?" Tulkas exclaimed. "Well I did the best I could. Sorry it took so long."

Námo shook his head, giving Tulkas a hug. "You came when you were needed the most and that is all that matters."

"Indeed," Manwë said. "We are grateful for your timely appearance. Now come. Let us teach you the spatiotemporal coordinates that you will need." Manwë then ordered the Máyar to begin the initial reordering of Atháraphelun, capturing stray asteroids and such. "There is much we must do to put all in order again but I think we can spare some time in showing our brother around his new home."

Thus the Children’s World traveled its orbit a few times before the Ayanumuz returned to find that much of the debris from the war was gone, but Atháraphelun was not as it once was. Phanaiphelun was no more, and Tirisambar was in disarray. Aulë’s world was gone and Ambarhíni itself was a wasteland of molten lava and noxious gases. All that they had striven to create was destroyed. They would have to start again.

"Do we rebuild what has been destroyed?" Yavanna asked.

Both Námo and Vairë shook their heads. "We’ve already decided to leave Phanaiphelun as it is," Námo told them, his expression blank.

"No longer will it be called Phanaiphelun," Vairë added. "Forever more will it be called Avatháraphelun."

"And I shall leave Ulbankeluth as it is as well," Nienna announced. "I rather like it the way it is now, lying on its side."

The others snickered at that. Manwë turned to Oromë. "What of Tirisambar?"

Oromë shook his head. "I will not repair the damage that has been done. Let what remains of Tirisambar stay as it is. Its position above the ecliptic does provide for a convenient place to keep watch over the rest of the system. Melkor has fled but I doubt he will stay away."

"Well, I have every intention of rebuilding Urnambar," Aulë declared. "I need my forge now more than ever."

Manwë nodded. "Agreed. Then by all means, rebuild your world, Aulë, while the rest of us put to rights the Children’s World. I fear our labors will be long and wearying."

"Then let us to it," Tulkas said somewhat impatiently. "Standing about is not going to get it done."

"No indeed, it will not," Manwë replied with a warm smile. "Let us therefore begin... again."

****

Before they could do any rebuilding, however, they needed to attend to their wounded. Several of the Máyar had suffered extreme energy loss, leaving them virtually crippled, unable even to think themselves elsewhere without aid. One such victim was Ancalequirindë. She was perhaps the most severely injured, suffering also from deep shock because her attacker had been her own brother in Atar’s Thought. That, more than the physical injuries, had Irmo and Estë worried.

"She does not respond to us at all," Estë told Vairë and Námo as they were discussing her condition. "Her energy levels are low, yes, but they are being replenished. I do not think she will regain all her strength, but certainly it will be enough to function at a fairly normal level. No, this is something more, something else."

"What do you think it is?" Vairë asked.

Irmo sighed. "She is closing herself off to everyone. It is almost as if...."

"As if what, brother?" Námo asked.

"As if she no longer wishes to live."

Both Námo and Vairë blanched at that, their aurae turning dark with shock. "We’ll see about that," Námo said and immediately thought himself to where Ancalequirindë and the other injured were being treated.

She was incarnate, as were all the injured. Estë had determined that treating their wounds on an incarnational level appeared to work better than on the quantum level. Námo agreed. "My own wounds seemed to heal more quickly when I became incarnate. I do not know why, only that Atar always made sure I clad myself in fana before sleeping."

He slipped into his own physical form. Vairë made to follow but he shook his head. "Let me try first, beloved. I have been where she is now. I may be able to reach her."

Vairë nodded, giving him a kiss. "If anyone can reach her it will be you, my love."

Ancalequirindë was lying on a bed of moss in an area on the equator of Nasarphelun. Estë and Irmo had created a small oasis on their desert world, enclosed in a forcefield, allowing plants to grow. There was also a small body of water that provided them with refreshment of both hröa and fëa. She lay there with her eyes open, though it was doubtful that she saw anything. Námo knelt beside her, stroking her hair which was a curious shade of blue.

"Ancalequirindë," he called to her softly. "Come, child. It is time to return to us. There is much work to be done and we need all the help we can get."

There was no immediate response, though Námo thought he detected a flicker of awareness deep in her aquamarine eyes. It lasted only for a second or two but it was enough to convince him that she was reachable. He adjusted his position so he was sitting facing her with his knees up. He took her right hand and gently stroked it.

"I never did have the chance to properly thank thee for saving my life."

Ah! There was another flicker.

"Thou didst a very brave but foolish thing," he continued. "Yes, very foolish, for thou wert already weak from energy loss." He sighed, his expression rueful. "I fear I was at fault there. I needed more energy and thou wert... convenient. I am sorry. I am not usually so callous with my People."

For a long moment there was no response. The Máya continued staring upward, but Námo was certain she was becoming more present, for tears suddenly sprang up and began to flow from her eyes. Then she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "But... I am not... Námolië, lord. Thou hast... no need to... apologize."

Námo bent down and lifted her gently, holding her closely. "But thou’rt of my People, for thy mistress is my beloved. And though we are not yet espoused, I look upon thee and thy brothers and sisters as my own, just as I know Vairë looketh upon my Máyar as her own. So, I do indeed ask for thy forgiveness, child. It was wrong of me to do what I did."

"But... I am useless to thee and my lady."

"Useless? Why speakest thou such nonsense?"

"Lady Estë... I heard her say that I will never be the Máya that I was."

Námo silently cursed Estë for speaking where her charges could overhear and called to Vairë, quickly giving her the gist of what had been said. She appeared, looking distraught, kneeling beside Námo, who relinquished his hold on the Máya, allowing Vairë to take her into her own embrace.

"Hush now, my best beloved," she crooned to Ancalequirindë, who was still weeping. "Thou wilt never be useless to me."

"Nor to me," Námo added softly.

"If thou canst not perform thy previous duties," Vairë continued, "we will find thee other work suited to thy strength. Have no fear that we would abandon thee. Thou’rt my daughter and Atar’s gift to me."

"Indeed," Námo said firmly. "In fact, there is a task that thou canst do for me even now."

"Wh-what is that, lord?" the Máya asked, sounding doubtful.

"Three of Lord Manwë’s People disobeyed a direct order from me. As punishment, Manwë hath given them to me for a time. Eönwë..." he hid a smile at her look of disbelief at the mention of the Máya’s name, "I already have plans for, but I am at a loss as to what to do with Fionwë and Olórin. Thy lady tells me thou’rt very discerning, that thou wert one of the first to suspect that Acairis was unfaithful to thy mistress."

Ancalequirindë nodded but did not speak.

"I was wondering if thou wouldst speak with Fionwë and Olórin, then," he continued. "Learn from them their strengths and weaknesses, what duties they routinely performed for Lord Manwë, where doth their interests lie, that sort of thing."

The Máya gave him a puzzled look. "Couldst thou not discover these things for thyself, lord?"

"Yes, if I had the time," Námo answered, "but I am needed elsewhere. The forces unleashed in the war created pockets of chaos which must be contained. Thou wouldst be doing me a great favor, for I confess I have no idea what I am supposed to do with them."

Ancalequirindë almost grinned at the rueful expression Námo evinced and nodded. "If thou dost wish it of me, lord, I am thy servant."

"Good, good." Námo gave her a relieved look. "Now, thou shouldst rest. When my brother deems thee strong enough, I will send Fionwë and Olórin to thee."

Ancalequirindë nodded and after a few more minutes Námo and Vairë left her to her rest. They did not leave the oasis immediately, however. Instead, they stopped and visited for a time with the other Máyar recuperating from their injuries, offering them praise for their courage and thanks for their sacrifices, encouraging them to recover as quickly as they might.

"For we need all of you to aid in the reconstruction of Atháraphelun," Námo told them, "in so however way you may."

It did not escape the notice of either Irmo or Estë that, after Námo and Vairë left, the aurae of their charges brightened and some of the Máyar who had been almost as despairing as Ancalequirindë were now sounding more hopeful.

****

Avatháraphelun: (Valarin) ‘Shadow-appointed Dwelling’. The Eldar would refer to it as Ascatainambar ‘Broken World’.

Fana: (Quenya) The ‘raiment’ in which the Valar presented themselves to physical eyes, the bodies in which they were self-incarnated.

Note: 1500 Valian years (14,370 solar years) elapsed between the beginning of the war with Melkor and the coming of Tulkas into Eä.