Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search
swiss replica watches replica watches uk Replica Rolex DateJust Watches

Till We Have Faces  by Antane

Boromir found Frodo the following afternoon by the Sea, but his back was to it. Instead he faced in the middle distance the home where Gandalf spent some of his time. A quill was in his hand but it was silent for the moment. The hobbit looked up when he saw his friend approach. Boromir smiled and sat down cross-legged in the sandy grass beside him. He glanced down at the pages filled with flowing script on Frodo’s lap.

“You remind me in more than one way of my brother, and I thank you for that. It is almost as though he were here, for he loved at whiles to sit in the grass and read of tales of long ago. It drove our father to distraction but it gave Faramir peace. I shared our sire’s lack of understanding why Faramir was so drawn and moved by such stories, and we both saw their effect on him, but while it drew scorn from our Steward, I saw Faramir’s heart clearer for I loved it dear. I believe they made him a better warrior and captain, for he learned pity and patience and mercy as well as valor. There was no room for anything but the warrior in our father and such soft emotions were not becoming to him. But my brother insisted that not even beasts be slain on his account if such could be spared.”

A small smile flickered around Frodo’s lips. “I remember that from our time in Ithilien. I am glad then if I remind you of your brother and I thank you for speaking of him so I can remember him also.”

“What part of your journey are you writing of today if I may ask? I was surprised to see you facing away from the Sea.”

“I thought it would ease me if I faced Gandalf’s abode. Though I did not realize it, he was with me much of the time, even long after we thought him dead. He helped me withstand the Enemy after you and I parted.” Frodo paused. “It was a terrible struggle, greater in torment than I had borne yet.”

Boromir looked down at the words. “And yet you did. I admire you for passing such a test. My own was less and I failed.”

“I could not withstand it at the end and that almost brought ruin to us all and would have if Smeagol was not there. Your fall helped save our world, Smeagol’s fall and my own ended his. I was spared and he was not. There are many nights I have lain awake thinking of that and of him and wondering why, I, the traitor, should be allowed to live, and the one who faithfully fulfilled his oath to keep the Ring from Sauron, perished in the flames. That should have been my fate. Perhaps though Smeagol’s fate was kinder than mine because he burned but a few moments and I burn still.”

“Yet you and he saved all of us. I commend you Frodo for bearing up under the assaults of the Ring, far better than I did. If there is a traitor to speak of, it is I. I had only seen it briefly at the Council, yet it wore my mind and my will away. You held it against your heart for months and did not yield until the end.”

“Yes, when I should have been strongest, I was weakest. If I passed other tests, I could not pass the most important. If it had not been for Smeagol, the Quest would have been in vain, and all Middle-earth lain under the Shadow. Yet, it was not so. The sacrifice of one saved us all. It should have been me.”

“Faramir strongly believed there were paths for every man to follow. It was your path to go to Mordor, as it was Sam’s and Gollum’s, but not for you or Sam to die there. Your sacrifices and Sam’s in reaching the Fire made it possible for the Ring to be forever unmade. No one could have done that. Surely not I.”

“But it came at the expense of another’s life. How can I endure that? I was responsible for his safety.”

“I know my brother wondered at times why a Ranger under his command died and he lived. But he did not wait for answers that he knew may not ever come. He knew he was not responsible for anyone else’s final fate. Would you have blamed yourself if Sam died as well? It was very clear to all of us that he would not have left your side, no matter what the peril. That was a free choice he made, even though he knew his death could result. You were responsible for him too, and he was responsible for you.”

The smile returned faintly before disappearing again. “I received the honor of my Sam’s support and love with more appreciation that I could ever express. No, my mind and heart are clearer on thinking of him than with Smeagol. Sam knew as well as I did what the cost of our journey could be. Did Smeagol? He did not know that entering the Sammath Naur would end his life.”

“Neither did you. That was not your fault.”

“If I had been stronger and fought against the Ring, he would not have had to fight with me for it and he would not have fallen.”

“And I would not have nearly come to blows with you, if I had struggled harder against it myself. You did not choose Gollum’s steps. The madness overwhelmed us all. Only until mine passed did I understand the refusal of Lord Elrond and Mithrandir to use it or even hide it. You know more about that madness than anyone and yet you withstood it longer.”

“Until the moment that it was most needful for me to do so.” Frodo raised his eyes to Boromir. “Do you know that before you woke and I thought you dead, that I spent more time at your side than anywhere on this isle because it was the one place, you were the one person, that I knew would not hold me in honor for what was said I had accomplished. You could not. You were dead. I could not bear to be among the living who celebrated me. I had to be among my own. I had to be among the dead.”

The agony in the Ring-bearer’s voice and in his eyes was sharp enough for Boromir to cut himself on. Yet gladly he bled if it meant that the tears that slowly and silently fell from them both would cleanse the wounds. He gathered the hobbit into his arms and they wept together.

“You had said before, little brother, that carrying the Ring taught you much about torment, but also gave you understanding for those in agony because of it. As you suffered with them, you loved and forgave them. Now turn that understanding, love, and forgiveness to yourself.”


“How?” The plaintive look in Frodo’s eyes and the sound of his voice, so lost, so despairing, broke Boromir’s heart.

Boromir held the Ring-bearer tighter as the hobbit buried his head in the warrior’s chest. “Continue to write your tale, and then read it, and perhaps you will find wisdom there, as our brother did.”





<< Back

Next >>

Leave Review
Home     Search     Chapter List