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Elf Academy Part Deux  by Fiondil

50: Enchanted Pumpkins

Before Alex was done speaking he had gone through nearly a box of tissues which Vorondur had supplied. The Elf had said little, only asking one or two questions for clarification, otherwise, he had simply listened and Alex found himself feeling grateful for that. In the end, nothing seemed to have been resolved, as far as Alex was concerned, yet he could not deny that he felt better for ‘confessing’, as he saw it. When he wound down and fell into silence, Vorondur did not immediately speak, letting Alex get himself under control.

"Since you won’t be doing any fencing on Wednesday," the Elf finally said, "I would suggest that you and I get together again. Now that we know where the conflict in you lies, we can deal with it."

"We do?" Alex asked, clearly puzzled.

Vorondur nodded and gave him a smile. "Indeed we do. I think, and this is only my personal opinion, but I think your having to kill your friend was the beginning of the end, so to speak. His death at your hands was more traumatic than you believed. I have little respect for your controllers, as you call them, for giving you that assignment, especially if they were aware, and I have no doubt that they were, of the friendship between you. That was beyond cruel."

Alex just shrugged. "I never thought of it that way."

"Yet, it cannot be denied," Vorondur said. "Now, I see our time is up," — Alex couldn’t help laughing at that and Vorondur grinned — "but before we go, there’s something you need to do."

"What’s that?" Alex asked, now looking wary.

"Come with me and I’ll show you," Vorondur said and stood. Alex followed suit and they left the library and headed up the hall towards the front door but stopped before they got there. Alex was surprised to see Vorondur open the lavatory door and gesture him inside even as he turned on the light. "You’ve not seen yourself in the mirror without that hat, have you?" the Elf asked him. Alex instinctively reached up to make sure the hat was in place and shook his head.

"And I don’t want to," he said standing in the doorway, refusing to go all the way in.

"Yet, I think if you wish for full healing, you need to face yourself," Vorondur said sympathetically. "What do you fear you’ll see if you were to stand before the mirror without your hat?"

"Someone ugly," Alex replied.

"Let me ask you this: if you had to create a persona for one of your espionage assignments that necessitated you to shave your head, how would that make you feel?"

Alex stared at Vorondur for a long moment, silently marveling at the perfect stillness of the Elf. He had the feeling that Vorondur could stand there for an eternity waiting for his answer. Slowly, without taking his eyes off of the Elf, Alex moved into the lavatory to stand before the sink. That was as far as he could go on his own, he realized. He still refused to look in the mirror. Vorondur reached out and gently turned him so he was facing his own image.

"Self-image is important," Vorondur said quietly, standing behind Alex with his hands on the Mortal’s shoulders, the two of them staring into the mirror. "The problem is, we rarely see ourselves as others do. We are more likely to see the bad things, the things we don’t like about ourselves, and not see the good things that others see. When I look at you, Alex, I don’t see ugliness. I see a warm and caring individual who has been forced to do terrible things in the name of goodness and that has left a darkness in your soul, but none of us are perfect."

"Except Loren," Alex interjected and Vorondur smiled at the attempt at levity.

"Well, Loren is unique, but as for the rest of us... Child, I think you’ve invested yourself more deeply in being ‘Alex’ instead of ‘Artemus’ than you suspect, especially after your experience at the tarn. And now, because of this recent accident, you want ‘Alex’ to be more real than ‘Artemus’, but as you pointed out, he’s not. He’s a construct, nothing more."

"How do I make him real?" Alex asked.

"By accepting who and what you are, the good, the bad and the indifferent, and you start by removing that hat and seeing yourself as you are and not as you want to be. Elrohir told you to think of your baldness as a badge of honor. You got it honestly and there’s no shame to it."

"It’s so different for you, though," Alex retorted somewhat bitterly.

"How do you mean?"

"You’re all so... beautiful, inside and out, even Amroth."

"If you believe that, child, then you are mistaken. We all must face the baser aspects of ourselves. You know enough of our history to realize that the Eldar are not angels, as you would define them. We’ve done terrible things... I’ve done terrible things."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "You have? What...?"

"I will not speak of that here and now. Suffice to say that the long life of the Eldar allows them plenty of scope to commit evil. What I may or may not have done is irrelevant. I merely brought it up to show you that we all have choices in our lives. The choices you made in the past could be seen as evil on one level, yet you made them with good intentions, believing that in doing what you did, you were safeguarding the innocence of others. But a price has to be paid for that and you’re beginning to understand what that price is: your soul. Now, because of everything that’s happened to you since you came to Wiseman, you are being confronted with the need to make a different kind of choice: will you be ‘Alex’ or ‘Artemus, remembering that ‘Artemus’ is not necessarily evil, but there is a darkness within him that must be purged if he and ‘Alex’ are to become one and the same. You, Artemus Gordon Meriwether, can only become Alex Grant if you accept who and what you are and recognize that ‘Artemus’ will always be a part of you, a necessary part, an important part, for he has skills that are essential for your continued survival. Do not dismiss that part of you too blindly. The ‘Artemus’ part of you may well save your life or the life of another someday."

"And what about ‘Alex’? What does he have that ‘Artemus’ doesn’t?"

"I think ‘Alex’ is more compassionate, more caring, more... human, if you will, than ‘Artemus’, but in the end, this is something you need to discover for yourself and you may find qualities in ‘Alex’ that are different from what I’ve enumerated. In the meantime, the burning question of the hour is: how long do you intend to hide behind that hat?"

For a long moment Alex merely stared into the mirror, not really seeing his own image, his eyes focused on the image of the Elf standing behind him with his long dark hair and grey eyes full of compassion and understanding. There was no sense of condescension in them and Alex suddenly realized that the Elf did not see him as something less, but rather, something other than himself and that alone made him worthy of the Elf’s respect. With a sigh, he slowly raised his arms and lifted the hat off his head, closing his eyes as he did so, not seeing Vorondur’s smile of understanding. He felt the Elf take the hat from him.

"Open your eyes, Alex," Vorondur said softly.

With some reluctance, he did and stared into the mirror, trying to recognize the person standing before him with his head shaved so only a stubble of brown hair remained. He could see the scar of the incision that looked nearly faded and knew that once his hair grew back, it would no longer be seen. Yet, in spite of his baldness, he realized that he didn’t look that much different from before. His eyes were still a deep blue, his face had freckles here and there, his nose was too short and he still had a cleft chin. In spite of his baldness, he knew his mother would still recognize him and he suddenly realized that that had been his fear, that somehow, his own mother would not know him. It was a foolish fear, he now knew, yet it had been real for him... until now.

"You see, you haven’t changed all that much, have you?" Vorondur said. "And the hair will grow back."

"I still don’t plan to be seen in public without my hat, though," Alex said.

"Well, as it is getting colder, it only makes sense," Vorondur said with a chuckle, handing the hat back to Alex so he could put it on. "Come. I’ll take you back to the college." With that, they exited the lavatory and headed to the front door. Grabbing coats from the closet they opened the door to see Zach stepping out of his van and heading for them.

Alex saw his young friend and smiled. "Zach! Long time, no see."

The two Mortals shook hands. "I know," Zach answered with a grimace. "Managed to avoid the stomach flu then came down with a nasty cold. Loren refused to let me join you-all at the races last week. How are you doing?" he asked Alex with a concerned look.

Alex looked sideways at Vorondur before answering. "Better. What about you?"

"Still a bit stuffy, but I’ll live," came the reply.

"So what brings you here?" Vorondur asked.

Zach fished out a piece of orange-colored paper from a pocket and unfolded it, handing it to Vorondur. Alex looked over the Elf’s shoulder to read it. "Enchanted Pumpkins?" he said.

"They were handing these flyers out in town," Zach explained, "and when I read it, for some reason, I immediately thought of Loren."

"Oh?" Vorondur asked. "And why is that?"

Zach shrugged. "Not sure. I saw him earlier this morning and he looked a bit… um… frazzled."

"Frazzled?" Vorondur repeated, looking rather amused.

"Yeah, I know," Zach said with a grin. "Frazzled and Loren don’t usually go together, he’s always so with it, but he looked pretty out of it when I saw him. Barely said two words together the whole time I was with him. Anyway, I just thought it would be great to go as a group."

"I don’t recall this from last year," Vorondur said.

"I asked the person handing out the flyers," Zach replied. "Seems this is something they do only every other year. The last time, you weren’t here and Loren and the others were students. I doubt they paid much attention to anything outside of the Academy. I know I didn’t. So, what do you think?"

"I think it sounds like a good time," Vorondur said. "According to this it runs for about a week beginning this weekend. I will definitely bring this to everyone’s attention. Thank you."

"What exactly is this enchanted pumpkin thing?" Alex asked, staring at the poster in Vorondur’s hand.

"People carve pumpkins in a variety of different ways and then they display them along a series of trails in the park that runs along Chandalar Lake, just south of the town," Zach answered. "I understand there are prizes for the best ones and some people have been working on their carving for the last week or so. They’ll have food and such as well. Sounds like fun, don’t you think? Maybe you and Derek would like to come. I’m planning to go with Nicole and the kids."

"What about her boyfriend?" Alex asked.

"He’s in Anchorage this week on business, otherwise, he would probably join us," Zach replied.

"We’ll have to see about maybe getting some buses together and taking anyone who’s interested," Vorondur said, handing the poster back to Zach, but the Mortal waved it away.

"I’ve got another copy in the van," he said. "I was planning on posting it on the bulletin board in the cafeteria."

"In that case, I wonder if you’d mind giving Alex a lift back," Vorondur said.

"Sure. No problem."

"I’ll see you after lunch on Wednesday," Vorondur said to Alex. "You can just stop by my office. We’ll talk there."

Alex nodded. "I’ll be there and thanks… for everything."

Vorondur smiled. "My pleasure. Now, off you go and I’ll see you later. Zach, if you run into Glorfindel or Daeron, tell them Holly and I are planning to eat out tonight, so we won’t be here for dinner."

"Okay. See ya." And the two Mortals climbed into Zach’s van and were off.

****

When Derek saw the poster about the Enchanted Pumpkins, he became quite excited and hoped that they would be able to go. "If they get enough people interested, they might use the buses to take us there and then we don’t have to drive," he said as he read the poster which Zach had placed on the bulletin board. "Maybe if there’s a sign-up sheet...."

"That’s not a bad idea," Zach said. "I’ll talk to Loren about it." Alex and Derek invited him to stay for dinner, but he’d already made plans to have dinner with Shane and others, so he bade them goodnight.

When people arrived at the cafeteria the next morning for breakfast they found a note by the poster stating that the Academy had bought a certain number of tickets for the event and they would be available on a first-come, first-serve basis. Transportation to and from Chandalar would be provided. Needless to say, the sign-up sheet was quickly filled with Derek’s and Alex’s names at the top.

The rest of the week went quietly enough. Tuesday, Derek convinced Alex to go into town with him and do some early Christmas shopping and then they met Zach at the café for lunch. Wednesday afternoon, Alex showed up for his counseling session at Vorondur’s office and the Elf was pleased to see that the young Man was not wearing his hat and Alex admitted that he decided not to wear it while inside the Academy.

"I didn’t realize being bald was considered sexy," he said almost shyly. "So far today I’ve been propositioned by three women and even by one of the guys!"

Vorondur couldn’t help but laugh at the mixture of affront and surprise that the Mortal was exhibiting and Alex found himself grinning in spite of himself. Vorondur indicated that Alex should take a seat and the session that followed was less tearful and more constructive than the previous one. By the end of it, Alex felt he’d come to terms with what had been happening to him and left in good spirits. Vorondur, however, knew that they had barely begun and spent some time mulling over the things that Alex had revealed about his life, planning out how he would approach the next session scheduled for the following Tuesday.

All this time, Alex conveniently forgot about Farrell and the Agency, and in fact, had neglected to check his email since returning from the hospital, but on Thursday, with the morning free and being alone while Derek was out jogging with some of his friends, he opened his laptop with the intention of emailing his mom and letting her know how he was doing, without telling her about the avalanche, only to find several emails from Maddy, the latest one from the day before. He sighed and was tempted to ignore them, but knew he couldn’t. He did delete the first six without opening them and read only the most recent one. The message was terse and to the point. He responded by describing how he’d been caught in an avalanche while snowshoe walking with friends and had only just been released from the hospital. He then ended with:

‘I received the termination order for Elwood but am not entirely convinced that McKinley is Elwood. Am attempting to get a set of fingerprints and will send them to you for comparison with Elwood’s file. As soon as I have confirmation that the fingerprints match, I’ll carry out the order.’

And in the entire message was no mention of Farrell. He pressed the ‘send’ button and then shot a quick, cheery email to his mom before closing down the laptop and going out to look for Amroth whom he found in his office. When he explained about Maddy, the Elf nodded.

"I’ve been gathering all the documentation you wanted," he said, "and should have it ready for you by Monday. As for fingerprints, that’s easy enough to do. I’ll give you a nice, clear set for you to send to Maddy."

Alex nodded his thanks, then left, deciding to go for a walk before lunch. He went back to his room and grabbed his coat and hat and headed for the woods, slipping between the trees and moving towards the heart of the woods, finding a fallen log on which to sit. He unwound his scarf and used it as a seat so he wouldn’t get the bottom of his jeans wet and sat, willing the stillness of his surroundings to seep into his soul. He finally got up and left only when he heard his stomach growling and knew it was time for lunch. When he reached the edge of the woods, he instinctively turned to face the trees and gave them a bow, mouthing a soft ‘le hannon’ before heading back to the Academy, feeling somewhat foolish at doing something so daft and glad no one had been there to see him.

The next couple of days dragged and he heard nothing from either Maddy or Farrell. Maddy, he did not care about too much, but Farrell worried him. The man had gone to ground and no one seemed to know where he’d gone, but since there was little Alex could do about it, he pushed him from his thoughts and concentrated on just being ‘Alex Grant’.

Thus on Saturday, at four o’clock, he and Derek, along with the students who had been lucky enough to get tickets, boarded the buses for Chandalar. Alex saw that all the Elves were also joining them and he and Derek made a point to board the same bus as they. By the time they reached Chandalar, it was almost dark. The buses made their way into a park to the south of the town and everyone got out. Pumpkin lights were strewn about in trees and luminaries lined the walkway. Alex could see dark figures of other people wandering about. There was a large tent where people could purchase food and drink and he saw a couple of ‘gypsies’ telling fortunes. Another, smaller tent was situated away from the food tent and a sign outside it stated that owls and other night birds were on display within. There were signs pointing to the two trails where the pumpkins were and everyone split up to go their separate ways, agreeing to return to the buses by nine o’clock.

Without being asked, Alex and Derek tagged along with the Elves. Zach was with them along with several other people, including Shane and Jud and Nicole and her kids. They stopped to buy glow rods for the children. A quiet consultation with a map that had been provided for them when they entered the park sent them heading for the trail that wound through the woods, leaving the other trail that ran down to the lake for after. The Elves had no difficulty in seeing in the dark and aptly guided their Mortal friends around barely seen obstacles. Once on the trail, though, they were able to follow the lights of the pumpkins.

Alex marveled at the sight: pumpkins of various sizes carved in a variety of different ways. Some were simply, yet masterfully carved into scary faces, others were more detailed, looking more like screens behind which the candles flickered, offering incredibly complex scenes of haunted houses, knights on horseback, intricately carved spiders and dragons and even the faces of well-known celebrities or favorite fictional characters from the movies. There was one of a ship sailing on the ocean and another of a swan, which Alphwen especially liked. These were indeed enchanted and enchanting pumpkins and everyone oohed and aahed over them, some of the students pulling out their phones and taking pictures of their favorites. Alex noticed though, that none of the Elves made any comments, yet he could tell that they were as impressed as everyone else at the skill in which the pumpkins had been carved.

The trail curved back on itself as they headed towards the entrance and everyone stopped in amazement at a series of pumpkins that had been set one on top of another like miniature totem poles, each pumpkin carved with a different face.

"And this is just the first trail," Derek whispered in awe and Alex could only nod as he examined the closest ‘totem pole’, smiling for no particular reason, but feeling suddenly light-hearted and delighting in such beauty. In spite of the crowd, the woods were nearly silent, everyone speaking in whispers, as if they were in a church, and he realized that there was that same sense of hushed awe that he’d often experienced when inside one of the great cathedrals of Europe.

They came out of the woods at a slightly different point from where they’d entered and stood looking about to get their bearings. Nicole indicated she was going to take her brood over to the food tent, for the night was chilly and the children were looking a bit blue.

"Some hot chocolate and maybe a hot dog should warm them up," she told them, "and then I’ll take them to see the owls. We’ll meet up with you later." They all nodded as she herded the children away and then everyone else made their way to the other trail. As with the first trail, this one was lined with pumpkins carved in a variety of different ways. They followed the trail, the Mortals straining to see the way at times, as it wound through another part of the woods lining the lake but this trail actually followed the shore for a bit and Alex could see the dark water glimmering under starlight. The Elves stopped to admire the lake for several long minutes where the trail opened up and one could step down to a viewing platform with benches. Zach and the other Mortals moved on but Alex hung back and Derek stayed with him, waiting for the Elves to leave the lakeshore and continue along the trail.

As they were making their way along the trail heading back towards the entrance, Derek suddenly commented, "Where’s Loren?"

Everyone stopped and stared about. "He was with us when we stopped to look at the lake," Ercassë said.

"I’ll go back and see if he’s still there," Alex volunteered but the Elves shook their heads.

"Let him be," Daeron said. "He probably would like some time to himself."

Alex nodded reluctantly and they continued on. They had not gone far, though, when the Elves stopped almost as one, going completely still, staring at the pumpkins.

"Is that Sindarin?" Alex asked in surprise, pointing to one of the pumpkins carved with a strange curling design.

"Hey, there’s another one that looks almost like it," Derek said, pointing to another further up the trail.

The Elves did not move or speak and Alex attempted to read what was carved on the pumpkins, trying to remember his tengwar. Then, Daeron spoke, his voice sounding strained to Alex’s ears.

"Ron, go find Loren. He needs to see this."

Ron merely nodded, his expression actually grim, much to Alex’s surprise, and headed back down the trail, dodging oncoming pumpkin viewers. The Elves, along with Alex and Derek, moved a bit to the side to let people pass.

"What does it say?" Derek finally asked, but none of the Elves answered and the Mortals were forced to wait impatiently for Vorondur to return with Glorfindel.

****

Le hannon: (Sindarin) ‘Thank you’.

Note: The description of the enchanted pumpkins is based on an annual event at the Beaver Lake Nature Center in Baldwinsville, New York, in which over six hundred pumpkins are carved in a variety of designs and laid out along two of the Center’s trails.





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