Chapter 23: On the Giving of Wedding Gifts

The next morning after second breakfast, Bilbo followed his parents back to the East parlour where once more Adalgrim and Periwinkle would be awaiting their gifts. Bilbo was carrying the rather large softish package, which was wrapped in muslin and tied with a blue ribbon. Bungo walked next to his wife, using his cane, and one would not have to look very closely to perceive that his arm was supported by his wife's hand rather than the other way around.

Bilbo hoped that the bride would like the gifts; his mother had worked on them for a long time. He knew that Chop would love them just because of who they were from--his cousin had always had a soft spot for his Aunt Bella. But he didn't know if Periwinkle would be the sort of lass who would appreciate it. He was quite prepared to bristle on his mother's behalf if she did not.

They found the couple sitting once more on the settee. In addition to Periwinkle's mother, he saw that her sister Pomona was also there, though not her brother Porro. Pomona smiled at him, and gave an almost imperceptible wave when she saw him. Bilbo blushed, but did not otherwise respond. This was a formal gift presentation, and the young people weren't to speak unless spoken to.

Adalgrim stood up to greet his aunt and uncle, giving Belladonna a fond peck on the cheek and patting his Uncle Bungo on the back. He grinned and winked at Bilbo, and said "Hello, Cousin Bilbo." Bilbo smiled and returned the greeting; his parents were sitting down, and his mother gave a nod.

Ordinarily one of his parents would have presented it, but Bungo had needed to sit, and so his mother had told him he would be the one to hand the present over.

Adalgrim took the package, and then sat down to show his betrothed. Together they untied the ribbon, and pulled the folded muslin away.

"Oh my!" exclaimed Periwinkle. She lifted out the two items on the top, delicately crocheted doilies sized to fit on top of nightstands. Then there were two linen pillowslips trimmed in crocheted lace that matched the doilies, and finally, a pieced coverlet also trimmed in matching lace. "Oh, this is lovely work! Did you make this yourself, Mrs. Baggins?"

Bilbo felt gratified at her obvious appreciation of his mother's work, and he started to warm a little to his cousin's intended.

Belladonna smiled. "You must call me 'Aunt Bella', dear, as we are soon to be family! Yes, I did indeed make this set."

Her mother and sister came over to inspect the gifts, before the mother took them to lock up in the gifts cabinet. Pomona touched the lace of one of the doilies reverently. "I wish I knew how to do that!" she exclaimed.

Mrs. Goldworthy chuckled. "I am afraid I am quite hopeless with a crochet hook," she said. "I've never been very good at fancy work, though I can do plain sewing, and can knit only just well enough to make a plain scarf. So I've never had the chance to teach my lasses."

Bilbo's mother laughed. "Well, there are a number of things that I am hopeless at as well. But as for crochet, if you lasses would like to learn and have the time while I am here, I can teach you the basic stitches."

"I should like that very much indeed!" said Pomona.

The two families spoke for just a little longer, until the next well-wisher bearing gifts knocked upon the door. So the Bagginses took their leave, and made room for another family to enter.

Finished with social obligations for the time being, Bilbo went off to find Siggy. Siggy had collected Porro and Rory already, and the lads after brief consultation decided to take fishing poles and a picnic for elevenses and maybe luncheon, and go down to the duck pond to fish.

"But you have to promise, Rory, to stay out of the water!" said Bilbo firmly.

"I will," the young Brandybuck said, though he looked somewhat downcast. "Mum said I had to promise as well. She said she didn't bring nearly enough changes of clothing for me to be falling in the water all the time."

The other lads laughed, and then went to one of the smaller kitchens to beg a hamper from the cooks, and a few scraps of offal to use as bait. They'd collect some fishing poles from a shack that stood near the duck pond, and kept there for visitors.

Bilbo caught several fish, but only one perch that was big enough to keep. Porro likewise only caught one, and Siggy caught two. Little Rory surpassed them all with four good-sized fish. The lads ate and drank from the hamper as their bellies spoke to them, and when they had eaten all the food, the lads decided to quit for the day. They carried the catch back to the same kitchen where they had been given the hamper, and returned the empty basket.

Porro decided to go look for his sister, and Rory was collected by his mother, who tutted at the state of his clothes, for while he had not been in the water, he had managed to get wet from the fish--and there were bait stains on his shirt as well. Aunt Mirabella hauled him off muttering.

Bilbo and Siggy had put a few pears in their pockets to tide them over until teatime, and decided to go to Siggy's room to talk. They sprawled on top of Siggy's bed.    

"We could steal his smallclothes."

Siggy shook his head. "No. He did that to cousin Isembard just a few months ago. What about an apple-pie bed*? We could slip in and do that during the dancing after the wedding feast."

"That would hardly be fair to his bride," said Bilbo. While he was still dubious about her influence over Chop, he was feeling more kindly to her now that he'd had a chance to see more of her. She seemed very nice.

For an instant, Siggy looked like he did not really care, and then he heaved a sigh and said, "Oh, I suppose you're right. We could lock him in his room the night before, so he can't get out and go off with the others."

Bilbo considered for a moment, before saying, "No, he'd just climb out the window. Besides you know Cousin Fortinbras will be practically glued to his side until the wedding, since he's standing witness."

"It needs to be something that he's never done, anyway. And it should be something that he'd never expect, and that would inconvenience only him."

"And," Bilbo added emphatically, "it needs to be something that's funny--and that he will think was funny when he gets over being angry. Because if not, he is very likely to stay angry. And if he figures out it was us while he's angry, he is likely to think of something really nasty to get back at us."

Both lads were silent as they thought over the implications of that. Chop had always been very clever in getting revenge on anyone who dared make him the target of their japes.

"Well, if we are clever, perhaps he won't figure it out," said Siggy.

Bilbo looked at him, and Siggy shrugged. "Still," said Bilbo,  "it needs to be funny as well." The two lads leaned against the head of the bed, their hands locked behind their heads, their legs stretched out in front as they thought.

Finally Bilbo broke the silence. "We need to get a look at Chop's room--"

"Adalgrim," said Siggy morosely.

"Chop's room," Bilbo repeated emphatically. "Then perhaps something will come to us. I want our last prank on him to be a gift he will always remember."

"Why don't we call on him after tea?" said Siggy. "He wouldn't be surprised if we went to see him, after all, for we've scarcely had a chance to visit with him since you got here."

"Yes! Maybe that will give us some ideas!" And Bilbo was not at all averse to seeing his second favorite cousin and having a chance to talk with him before matrimony changed everything.

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*Apple-pie bed: what a shortsheeted bed in which a sheet is folded back on itself halfway down as a practical joke so that the victim cannot get into it is called in the UK.