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| Caretakers by Grey Wonderer | 112 Review(s) |
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| white_rider | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 5/26/2004 |
| Hi There Oh! It has been a long while since I last reviewed hasn't it? But never mind, I'm back now! I'm feeling a little torn over this story, and can't decide whether I like it a little or love it a lot, I'm very undecided, but at the moment I totally agree with Jules...It's not Pippin who needs to lighten up, it's Frodo!! He's being a real jerk, uppity, and a pain in the ass...Everyone who has ever been sick or stuck in a hospital bed for any amount of time, knows that after a while you get cranky, irritable and bored out of your skull, it's just par for the course, and for someone like Pip that has to be worse than torture!...It's Ok to stop the two of them from seeing each other for an hour or two, even a day or two if neccessary, until they both calm down a little ( they would soon be back to normal, you can't keep those two apart for long) but to move Pippin into that sort of place, when he can barely do anything much for himself, and the healers treat you like dirt, is totally cruel of Frodo.. I felt so awful for Pippin during the stew incident, and him wanting to be so grown up and not say anything about it as well. As far as I can tell he's still lying in that mess,(something similar happened to someone I know and the nursing staff left him lying like that for ages, not funny!) I know that the healers are busy, but you'd think that they'd check the bed linens every so often...As Jules said, A sure place for him to have a relapse!! If I was Merry, I wouldn't let anyone or anything keep me from seeing the person I loved the best...I'd find a way somehow and Frodo and Aragorn be damned!...and Yes, keeping Merry from Pippin in this way isn't helping Merry to recover very quickly either. As someone else said "Merry is more worried now than he was before"....I do so hope that Frodo goes back to being his usual kind self and redeems himself in my eyes, because I just don't like Frodo in this story much at all... Author Reply: White_Rider! So glad to hear from you. Now, let me see if I can explain myself on this one. First, I was trying to show Frodo's worry over how Merry had refused to get any rest while taking care of Pippin and watching after Frodo and Sam too. I thought that by the time, Frodo and Sam were able to get around, that Merry would have worn himelf completely out. Frodo needs something else to focus on other than his own pain over the journey and so he has decided to try and get Merry to rest. Since he has put Pippin in with the others, he has had both Sam and Aragorn checking on Pip. Pip has decided to try and a thing or two for himself to prove that he can and that is why he didn't tell his troubles to Sam or Aragorn. I didn't mean for Frodo to come off badly in this. Please don't feel that you have to read this one if it upsets you. That was never my intention. I am glad to hear from you and to know that you are still around. Don't worry, I have never written a hobbit fic that didn't have a happy ending. | |
| Pervinca | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 5/26/2004 |
| Another delightful couple of chapters! You're so good with your updating! (not like me, with a minimum of a wekk between updates :P) Poor Merry - I think he's more worried now than he was before they moved Pippin away! "He’s about so high, nasty smirk, green eyes full of mischief, and just lately in a very foul humor." <- I thought this line was so cute! I can just imagine Merry being the sarcastic type! Loved the last part as well. And Pippin tried so hard to keep the stew-incident a secret :P - Pervinca Author Reply: Thank you. I always seem to write Merry with a bit of a sarcastic attitude. Pippinfan has mentioned it in the past. I think of Merry as a very cheeky hobbit with a quick witt so I often have him saying something a bit sarcastic. I am glad that you are enjoying this one. Thanks for your reviews. | |
| melilot hill | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 5/26/2004 |
| I hope Frodo doesn't keep Merry away from his Pip too long, that wouldn't be very nice :) So aren't you tired of my nitpicking yet? No? Well here are some more typing errors and questions: "You don’t need to worry about, Pippin, Merry. I don't think that first comma is necessary. Helping Pippin with things, gave me exercise for my arm. Again, I don't think you need a comma here. They both looked so stern and they faced one another. Shouldn't it be "as the faced"? "I can’t believe that you won’t let me even see, Pippin, Frodo," Merry said. Is that first commas necessary? He’s about so high, nasty smirk, green eyes full of mischief, and just lately in a very foul humor. British: humour "What we are doing, Merry, is we are going back to our tent," Frodo said, sternly. "I refuse to discuss this further until the morning." I'm not absolutely sure, but I think you can leave out we are The hobbits was laying very still and taking short, shallow breaths. You don't need the plural here :) Author Reply: I was on last night making some of the changes that you suggested and one of my chapter titles disappeared completely. I can't get it to show back up on my author page so that I can go back in and correct things. I have no access to that chapter at all. I wrote a note to tech support and am waiting to hear, but I am going to put off any corrections until the problem is solved. Either I have done womething worng, or there is a problem. I managed to change a few things, but I haven't gotten others done yet. Thank you for all of your hard work and please know that it is appreciated. I will make the changes as soon as tech support answers my email. I hope you will continue to read while I am waiting to hear something. | |
| melilot hill | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 5/26/2004 |
| I liked the development in this chapter. Pippin too stubborn to ask anyone for help and Frodo only thinking about others. He’d been too worried about Mister Frodo to think on much else. Shouldn't it be "think about" (I'm not completely sure about this one) About Sam's speech: When you leave out a letter, maybe you can replace it by '(isn't it usually done that way?) I know how you want to help Mister Merry, but, you are still recoverin too." recoverin' (this sentence comes from chapter 5) ‘I did think that the two o' them havin dinner together might help," Sam admitted. "Mister Merry seems to put Mister Frodo at ease in a way that I can’t." First, ' should be " and secondly, I think it is better to write o' in stead of o. Sam realized that he had mis-spoke now. I'm not sure about this one, but shouldn't it be mis-spoken? Said they were takin good care o him and that they were real friendly folks." o' ? I was expectin him to start up about gettin him out o there. You know, beggin me to speak to you about things? expectin' and gettin' and beggin' ? "So, what was your impression, Sam?" Frodo asked, truly surprised at this newest development in his youngest cousin’s behavior. behaviour in British English. "I don’t know, Mister Frodo," Sam admitted. "But there was this woman there that may have been a healer or maybe just helpin to care for the wounded and she was very stern. Now, Mister Pippin didn’t seem to take no notice o her, but well, she frightened me in some way that I can’t explain." helpin' and o' ? Author Reply: So glad you are enjoying this and so very glad you are helping me with the mistakes. You find some many things that I hadn't noticed! Thanks for all of your efforts. | |
| melilot hill | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 5/26/2004 |
| I like the way you describe "stubborn Pippin"! He had been caught trying to make his exit when his left leg had decided to give out on him and land him in the floor, so running didn’t look like an option. Shouldn't it be "landed him on the floor? He was uncomfortable, but he could deal with that. What he couldn’t deal with, was another public dressing down for his behavior. English spelling; behaviour He’d been rather busy complaining the last time he’d seen as older cousin, but even then he could see the strain in Frodo’s eyes. I think you mean "seen his older cousin" Author Reply: Thank you. I think Pippin was a bit stubborn at times. He's trying to prove something to the others just now and so he is being stubborn. Thank you again for all of your help. I only hope I hear something soon and can go in and make changes. | |
| melilot hill | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 5/26/2004 |
| Another great chapter. There were rumors about the camp that the Ring Bearer had lost a finger. Again, I think it is better to use the English spelling rumours His effort at humor for Merry’s sake, had fallen flat. He was now thoroughly embarrassed and unsure as to what he should do. English spelling; humour | |
| melilot hill | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 5/26/2004 |
| Poor Pippin, not being in the centre of attention for once. Pippin turned to look at his neighbor. Now, this is not a mistake, but I think (since you're writing Tolkien fanfiction) it is better to use the English spelling neighbour Author Reply: I hadn't thought about the English spelling before. I don't believe I have ever used it. It's an interesting idea. | |
| Jules | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 5/26/2004 |
| I like this story. It is wonderfullt written but I almost won;t Pippin to get sick or have a relapse just to show Mr. Holier than though Frodo that he isn't perfect. Pippin was being a brat but he's been through hell. I've always thought Frodo may have had the ring but he sufferered the physically the least.. Please make someone help Pippin. Thanks Author Reply: Thank you for reading this and for the review. Don't worry too much about Pippin. I like that little hobbit far too much to write anything too difficult for him. Hope you'll keep reading. | |
| Anso the Hobbit | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 5/25/2004 |
| This is a great story! Even if it is about healing and "heavy stuff" you`ve managed to get the humor into it and that is just great. I laugh of determined-to-behave-Pip, taking-charge-Frodo (and it`s good to see him up and about in a healing fic from just after the quest), stubborn-not-looking-after-himself-Merry, Aragorn and Sam and "female Gimli"! *snort* Author Reply: Thank you for the lovely review. Hope you will continue to read as I go along. There is more of 'Glynnith' to come. I never manage to stay serious. Also, I always think of the hobbits as such a happy group. They make me smile. | |
| melilot hill | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/25/2004 |
| I like the way Frodo is taking action to help his cousins. Another great chapter. And yes, she's back with a few typing errors.. :) Then stop acting like one," Frodo advised as Merry made his escaped to the outside of the tent, having had his fill of his little cousin. I think the bold word should be escape. "Did I hear you say that you are planning to ask something of me, Frodo?" Aragorn inquired as he entered the tent.. this sentence has two full stops (If you find this annoying, just say so and I'll stop, otherwise I will have a look at the other chapters again tomorrow. Just let me know.) Author Reply: Glad you enjoyed Frodo. I always seem to write him as 'in charge' of something or someone. Can't help myself. As to the spell-check, no I don't find it annoying. I am very glad that you are willing to do it as you read. I have been correcting the errors that you find as I read your reviews. | |