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Not Gonna Happens  by Larner 233 Review(s)
KittyReviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/20/2007
Gilderoy Lockhart as replacement for Gandalf? Then I can only hope he has his memories back, or they should take his wand, before something happens! But to call the twins and Legolas "house elves" and "pathetic" - uh oh. He should be more careful *evil grin*

Now you got me thinking - what would happen if Aragorn would send him to fight Orcs? Would he vanish, coward that he is? Or try a spell on them? They'd probably end up in pink instead of black or the like, considering his abilities - I doubt they would be impressed with his Most Charming Smile Awards *giggles*

Author Reply: Quite the thing to contemplate, isn't it? Snaga in pink and Gorbag in glaring turquoise, do you think? Heh! Although his memory charms might actually be useful against the likes of Lurch, don't you think?

And you do have to remember that his acquaintance with elves is quite limited--he's not met those of the true Fair Folk, I fear. You must give him some leeway--but not too much, lest he manage to debone Aragorn's arm or turn Anduril into a rubber chicken....

Grey WondererReviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/20/2007
Gilderoy Lockheart? LOL That is priceless. I'm guessing Aragorn's 'house elves' are going to kill him, aren't they? Great idea, this.

Author Reply: Oh, I'm certain they're considering it. Glad it evoked a laugh.

Queen GaladrielReviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/19/2007
*giggles helplessly* Oh, do be careful! This does touch on the borders of what is allowed here, but I'm not complaining...LOL! Very ironic. And I'm sure I'll appreciate the joke still more when I've read Harry Potter. I was afraid to at first because of all the rumours going around, but a very dear and trusted friend recently held forth on them for about half an hour and convinced me that I really want to read them after all. :) Now, to find the time to get the books and jump in, that is the challenge.

Thank you, I so needed a good laugh tonight! :)
God bless,

Author Reply: Gandalf would feel most at home with Albus Dumbledore as a colleague, you know. Definitely brothers under the skin, both devoted to encouraging their pupils to become the best they can be and to face evil and beat it as best can be done.

The Dean at Gloucester Cathedral found it highly amusing that so many fundamentalist Christians were protesting the use of the cathedral as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry during the filming of the first film, for he found the HP books to be definitely on the list of books he would wish his own children to read. To see the stories as teaching "true" witchcraft or as some kind of introduction to Wicca or paganism is foolish. They are definitely Good versus Evil, with Good being urged on constantly. They are fantasy stories; and anyone who thinks one can actually use "alohamora" to cause a door to unlock itself or "wingardium leviosa" to cause objects to levitate and sees these as serious "spells" is only fooling himself in order to feel threatened.

I happen to have the entire series (so far) on cassette with Jim Dale narrating, and often play them while I must make long drives to help keep me more alert and awake. Am rereading book three in this way at the moment.

But if Frodo can get a night of respite while the Fellowship traverses Moria with Lassie and Timmy's family while Timmy follows after Merry and Pippin or the folk of the Fellowship can prepare to take a "three hour tour," both of which stories I giggled at on this site, certainly the court of the High King could wonder at the vacuous personality of this one pathetic excuse for a wizard.

Glad you enjoyed the joke. Giggle away--we need it at times.

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