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| Concerning Sam by Kara's Aunty | 77 Review(s) |
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| Celeritas | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 10/6/2008 |
| Your usage of "It's" is really interesting--certainly your defense of it justifies its (no pun intended) presence. I'm tending to side somewhere in the middle of this debate between Aragorn and Arwen. Yes, Sam should come to the realization that he needs to talk, in time, but he's also as stubborn as they come and (despite all his protestations to the contrary) he does have a fair bit of pride when it comes to such matters. Of course, if Aragorn had not seen all of this he wouldn't be worrying so--which just goes to show how much of a double-edged sword the Palantir can be. I loved the word choice on Rose not seeing Sam "wilt." Such an apt term for a gardener! | |
| Celeritas | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/6/2008 |
| I found most interesting in this chapter the little hints at how other hobbits look at the rather famous Samwise--from young Farlibar's (interesting name, that. Sounds hobbitty, but I can't quite place the family) expectantly looking at his cooking to the "unreasonable public figures" talk. Evidently that fellow hasn't heard of Sam's origins yet! Re: the other review and your appreciated extensive replies--the nightshirt wasn't at all too Frodo-ish. I was more or less just gloating that I'd caught the reference; since we have almost no evidence as to how Sam felt after the Grey Havens anything--especially things that make the reader think, which that certainly did--would work. If residual Ring-longing wasn't the trouble, it can still be interpreted as some sort of semi-perceived sympathy pangs (I'd like to think that Frodo would be completely healed at this point, but Sam doesn't know that and won't know for sure until he goes there himself). With newer writers, if they do an expected amount of research (you certainly have and more besides!), I (and I suspect just about everyone else on this site) am willing to look over any perceived glitches on your part--which I haven't found, although if I unbottled my cantankerous alter ego she probably would because she finds bones to pick with everything, including my own stuff--in favor of the fresh perspective that a new author always brings. With "alright," I wasn't criticizing the word choice; only the spelling. The two words "all right," signifying the same thing, have been around far longer. I'm a bit of a prescriptivist, which is the only reason I brought the whole thing up. I'm actually now digging through my copy to see if Tolkien had any of the hobbits use it, but it hardly matters. Don't be daunted by U.S. usage if you have an idea for more U.S.-type fan fiction--I'm sure there are sites in other fandoms as supportive as this one that would be more than willing to help. Back when Harry Potter fan fiction was at its peak there were a number of betas called "Britpickers" who would go through Americans' work and recommend changes based on UK usage; I'm sure that with little effort you could find a SW geek to do something similar. I did see that this has already been posted elsewhere, but I think I'd rather stay on this site because I've found that good things come to those who wait! And so I await more... Author Reply: Ah Celeritas! I love your descripive reviews! I know you weren't criticising with 'alright' - no problems there (or anywhere). I was laughing at the bit where you said you were 'gloating' that you'd caught the nightshirt reference. I think subconciously I put it in as a reference to troubles to come and not necessarily that he desired it, but I'd forgotten that after I wrote it; just knew there was a reason so I left it as it was and if it made you feel that you'd noticed something juicy - excellent! All of your lovely comments have made me happy that you are finding some pleasure in this story, especially the 'good things come to those who wait' one. I could continue here for the rest of the night, but I just got in from work (It's now 18:55 GMT) and I've several other reviews to reply to (including another one of yours - God bless you), not to mention another chapter (or two) to post, so I'll speak to you later. Byee :) Maureen. | |
| Celeritas | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/6/2008 |
| Yay! Fellow new author! ^_^ I'm really liking this so far; one of my pet interests in fandom is that fan fiction that fills a niche--that talks about something no one else has. And while (I think) the Visit to Annuminas has been covered, it's never been looked at from quite this perspective. Out of all the Travellers, the one whose scars people write about the least is Sam. It would be unhealthy to forget to live his own life if he was so engrossed in those of others. True that! I was most intrigued this chapter by the description of Sam's nightmare, particularly the part where he settled down, clutching his nightshirt. I don't know if this was intentional or not, but taken in conjunction with your summary mentioning him still being affected by the Ring, I had to raise my eyebrows at this. I'll also be interested in seeing how you take the Sea-longing into account--the original last lines of the book rival the published ones in beauty and thought-inducing shivers. Hurrah also for the UK English--despite being American, I set my spellcheck to UK when writing hobbit fic--though if I may have one niggle, "alright" as one word didn't enter the dictionary until the 1990's. Your book compliance is fine, especially since you've demonstrated yourself to be aware of those things you artistically license to your purpose. ^_^ Well, this review is dragging on interminably, so I'll just cut it off by saying how much I'm enjoying this fic so far and hope you'll update soon! Author Reply: Hello Celeritas, WOW, what a great review! Thank you very much! So you're a new author here too, eh? Have you posted yet? I'll have a wee look once I'm finished here... I'm so new it's scary. I only posted last night and this is the 1st LOTR story I've done (and the 1st multi-chaptered, which was an accident as this was supposed to be one chapter long, finito!). The story is complete and has been posted elsewhere, but SoA is a distinguished site with many dedicated Tolkien fans so I'm a bit nervous at the thought of tripping up and landing flat on my face. Still, you can't fly if you don't try, eh? Sam and his nightshirt... Yeah. It seemed such a clever thing to put in at the time... I should have changed that perhaps, too Frodo-esque I think. It should still work out okay though, just gives a general hint at the overall trouble he's in for (I'm thinking out loud as I type, so ignore me if I ramble on indiscriminately). I've always wanted to read a story which specifically addressed the effects of the Ring on Sam, as well as his resultant Sea-longing and the way that may have influenced his family life. But I could never find such a story, so I decided to try and write it myself. I'm not a very experienced writer and my knowledge of ME isn't as broad as others, but I've worked with what I've got (the LOTR books and some good Tolkien websites) and hope that I've not made any glaring mistakes... Well, the entire story is finished and the Sea-longing was one of the main details I wanted to explore, so that's all done and dusted and waiting for you to read.... I'm Scottish, so UK English is all I know. I'd like to do a Star Wars fic at some point, but am daunted by the thought of tackling US vernacular and US English, so I might just leave that to my American cousins. Plus, I'm rubbish at all that technical stuff (X-Wings, Permacrete, flying duels - gulp). Anyway, I digress. If I see any further entries of 'alright', I'll change them to 'of course' or something similar. That way, when you come across 'of course' you can smile and know I was thinking of you! Your review did not drag on interminably (I relished every word), but I fear this reply might, so I'll pop off now. I'm posting another two chapters this evening (after I tweak them), so I hope you have an opportunity to read them. Bye! Maureen. | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/6/2008 |
| How wonderful to see this posted here! Very nice introduction to your work! Author Reply: Hi Larner, you are the best! I'm beyond thrilled that you reviewed - but don't worry, I don't expect this for every chapter when you've done so once already. I applied to post here three weeks ago, but only got the okay last night because they're doing technical stuff on the site or some such thing, so I was happy to finally be able to post on a J.R.R. Tolkien-only orientated site. I'm tweaking each chapter as I put it up here to (hopefully) erase any errors, but will need to wait and see how much success I meet with (I'm fairly sweating at the thought of trying to clean up my punctuation!). Still, these things are sent to try... I'm off now to tweak the next 2 chapters, so take care of yourself and all the best!! Maureen. | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/5/2008 |
| Excellent beginning. I'm glad you put in the little disclaimer about the Palantir - it's not a big thing, but it can take one away from the tale. With the disclaimer, I'll be able to read without lightly gnashing my teeth. As I said, excellent beginning. Can't wait for the next installment. Author Reply: Hello Agape4Gondor! Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to review, I'm a happy woman because of it! I know what you mean about the disclaimer bit - if I read something that is a bit OOC but has been 'advertised' as canon, it can ruin it for me (to an extent). I didn't actually realise the mistake with the Palantír in the first chapter until someone pointed it out to me (though in the nicest possible way) so even I'm not as infallible as I'd like to think! But now that I'm posting on the wonderful SoA site, I have a chance to try and address some of the errors I made the first time. Of course, I'm sure I'll still let something slip through by accident - I'm not as knowledgeable in Middle Earth as many people, but thank goodness for the books I do have & the Internet. I do love Sam and I had an unbelievable urge to write this story or combust, so I thought it might be easier to write and research as I went along. Combusting is too messy a business. You won't have to wait for the next instalment - I'm so happy with the lovely reviews that I'm posting 2 chapters this evening (GMT - it's 18:32 here just now). Hope I hear from you again! Maureen. | |
| Antane | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/5/2008 |
| An intriguing beginning and I look forward to more! I hope indeed Aragorn can provide some relief for our beloved hobbit, indeed one of the world's saviors. It hurts to see him like this. Namarie, God bless, Antane or Aunty Anne :) Author Reply: Hello Joseph's, Margaret's, Stephen's, Peter's, Berndette's, John Paul's, Dominic's, Joan's, and Elizabeth's Aunty (I've been dying to do that ever since you replied to my review for your story 'Memorial Day'), I am chuffed to bits (thrilled and delighted) that you reviewed my first chapter. The story is complete and I will post 2 chapters this evening so feel free to give them a wee read if you like. Sam may indeed get some relief - but his problems have barely started yet... See you soon! (Just) Kara's Aunty :) | |
| Dreamflower | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/5/2008 |
| A little "artistic license" is fine--it just makes the story very slightly AU, as all fics are to one degree or another. Besides, I'm sure so canny a Ranger as Strider could read lips. I'm sure his mind supplied the words... I like this--I could see by the events that this is a preliminary to his canonical visit to Annuminas. I look forward very much to seeing more of this. Welcome to SoA! It's always lovely to see a new hobbit-writer in our ranks! Author Reply: Hello!! Thank you SO much for the review and the welcome. Stories of Arda is great - I only posted this last night and already the warmth of the reviewers has made me feel like a family member. You can't buy a feeling like this!! I've actually finished this story (13 chapters) and was going to post a chapter every two days, but I'm so thrilled with the responses so far that I may not be able to contain myself and will probably put 2 up this evening (Got some tweaking to do on them though) as a sort of thank you. Hope you enjoy the next chapters as much! Maureen Author Reply: Hello!! Thank you SO much for the review and the welcome. Stories of Arda is great - I only posted this last night and already the warmth of the reviewers has made me feel like a family member. You can't buy a feeling like this!! I've actually finished this story (13 chapters) and was going to post a chapter every two days, but I'm so thrilled with the responses so far that I may not be able to contain myself and will probably put 2 up this evening (Got some tweaking to do on them though) as a sort of thank you. Hope you enjoy the next chapters as much! Maureen | |