An Evening With Bilbo

This one is told from the POV of a ten-year-old Pippin.

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I can be very quiet when I want to be. Others might not think this is so, but I can. Tonight, I am being quiet. They have left me again and so I must find my own amusement. I am tired of sulking. Sulking and pouting are only useful if there is someone about to watch and take pity on you. Tonight, no one is watching. Tonight I am on my own.

Well, not entirely. If I were completely alone then I might go in search of fun, but if I leave, I will be caught for sure. One of them will find me out and then I will be confined to my room or on my way home. I have been left in Bilbo’s care for the evening and so I must stay here at Bag End while my cousins are out having a few pints at The Green Dragon.  Being left here with Bilbo isn't like bieng left with other adults.  Bilbo has no idea how real adults behave when they are taking care of lads.  Someone proper should be minding me, but then, I don't really need minding as far as I can see.  I can take care of myself.  It's a good thing too, because cousin Bilbo isn't up to the job. 

One of these days, when I am old enough, then I am going to go to The Green Dragon, order a pint, and sing and drink all night long. I am probably old enough now, but no one allows me to do anything! They treat me like a child even though I am nearly eleven. Frodo pats me on the head and smiles whenever I try to tell him that I’m old enough to come along. He gives me that look. It’s the look that says, "poor, misguided, child. You don’t know what you’re talking about." I hate that look!

I was given that look more than once tonight while I was trying to talk them into taking me along. I tried to explain that I wouldn’t be any trouble and that I wouldn’t even drink anything if they’d just let me come with them. I would just sit with them and maybe sing a bit with the music. I hear that they have music in The Dragon every night. I am a fair enough singer and so I don’t suspect that anyone would mind if I sang. Frodo just kept giving me that look and shaking his head. "I’m afraid not, Pippin-lad. You are too young to be in a pub. I promise that we’ll all do something fun tomorrow, but tonight is for the older lads."

The older lads indeed! Merry isn’t all that old and he was allowed to go. Merry is only nineteen and just barely nineteen at that! All of this lad business is mostly for my benefit anyway. Frodo always calls me Pippin-lad when he is treating me like a child. I was Pippin-lad with him all throughout that conversation. I never had a chance with any of them.

Merry joined their side of things at once. The minute Frodo called Merry one of the older lads then I knew my chance of winning him over was gone. Merry likes it when Frodo treats him like he’s all grown up and so naturally, Merry couldn’t side with me on this. He had to show Frodo and the others that he was all grown up. That was when he started calling me Pip Squeak and talking to me like I were a wee tot again. I hate when he calls me Pip Squeak!

I know I’m a bit small for my age, but I don’t need to be reminded of it by Merry. Besides, size has nothing to do with this and I am old enough no matter what they think. Of course, then, there was Bilbo to contend with. Bilbo is supposed to be in charge of things around here even though sometimes it seems that he isn’t paying any attention at all. Sometimes, like now, in fact.

I have managed to sneak into his study and hide behind a chair and he has never looked up from his writing once. I can be quiet if I need to be. Bilbo doesn’t hear me now just like he refused to listen to me earlier. I tried to win him over. It seemed the proper thing to do because he is supposed to be in charge after all. I thought that if Bilbo agreed with me then they’d have to take me with them. The trouble was, Bilbo Baggins is a complete coward.

I know all about his adventures and all about the dragons and everything, but I also know that Bilbo Baggins is afraid of my mum. "Now, Pippin, I’m afraid your mum wouldn’t be very pleased if she found out that I’d allowed you to go off drinking at your age. I don’t even like to imagine what your father might say on the matter. Let the older lads go and you and I will have a nice evening here together. I’ll tell you some stories and we’ll have a game of chess. How would that be?"

How would that be? I’ll tell you how that would be. It would be embarrassing. Frodo and Merry smiled at Bilbo and then Frodo gave me the look again. This time that look said something like, ‘Be a good little child, Pippin and Uncle Bilbo will tell you a story!’ I hate that look! I am not a child! I don’t want a story. I want to go with them.

I hate being left here with a pat on the head and a few of those smiles like my old aunts always give me. Those, ‘isn’t he a sweet little child?’ looks. I hate getting those looks from Merry most of all because he knows better. He knows I’m not a child. Most of the time he treats me just like one of his older friends. He knows I don’t need a minder and he and Frodo both should know that Bilbo isn’t much of a child-minder. If you’re watching someone, aren’t you supposed to know where they are? Bilbo is in the same room with me and he thinks I’m in bed.

He was going to tell me about one of his adventures and we were going to have a snack together, but frankly, I was not in the mood for any of it. I was missing out on an evening at The Green Dragon and story-time seemed like a very poor substitute indeed. So, I decide to pout a bit and announce that I was going on to bed. Instead of trying to talk me out of it, or relenting and allowing me to go to The Dragon, Bilbo put me to bed!

I don’t think he knows anything at all about children. If he did, then he’d know that I didn’t want to go to bed at all. I only said that to try and get him to feel sorry for me. I have no idea how Frodo manages him. I can’t seem to figure him out at all. He doesn’t seem to behave the way other adults do. Merry’s mum would have known that I didn’t really want to go to bed. She might not have let me go to The Green Dragon, but she would have felt sorry for me and tried to make it up to me. I wasted a perfectly good job of pouting on that old hobbit!

Now, I’m stuck hiding behind the chair and eaves dropping which isn’t any fun at all because Bilbo is alone and while he does talk to himself sometimes, he isn’t doing it now. It’s no good eaves dropping when no one is saying anything. Bilbo thinks I’m in bed where he put me. I can’t say different. That would be admitting that I might have been pouting before. That might make me look a bit like a child and I can’t let that happen.

They are already certain that I’m not much more than a baby as it is. I can’t prove them wrong if I can’t stick to what I told them. I said, "Fine, go on and leave me here. I don’t want to go with you anyway. I don’t need any of you and I don’t want any old story! I’m going to bed!" That’s what I told them, thinking that at least Bilbo would feel a bit sad for me. I knew that Merry and Frodo would go to The Green Dragon anyhow, but I did think that Bilbo would behave properly for once. He didn’t. He tucked me in and then put out the lantern and left me alone in the dark. Not that I’m afraid of the dark really, but I do usually sleep with Merry or Frodo when I’m here and I usually get to leave the lantern lit if I’m on my own. I hate being the youngest.

Look at him over there at that desk, writing away in that old book. Doesn’t he know I’m sitting here on this cold floor in my night shirt, bored to death? My papa would have found me by now and made me go back to bed. A lad could get completely forgotten around here with him in charge. Frodo and Merry shouldn’t have gone off and left me with Bilbo. He isn’t watching me at all. I can’t sit still here much longer I think my legs are going numb.

"Peregrin, why don’t you come over here and I’ll show you a drawing of Smaug that I’ve done? Unless you are enjoying sitting there behind my chair. I suppose you could be enjoying yourself. I really don’t know much about what lads your age enjoy doing."

I can’t believe it! He knew all this time! How did he hear me? I was ever so quiet.

"Well, I guess you don’t want to look at drawings of Dragons then. I’ll just finish this and then I think I’ll get a bite to eat. Go on with what you’re doing and don’t mind me."

I wanted to go to The Green Dragon, not look at drawings of dragons! Go on with what I’m doing? I would like to see the picture and I am a wee bit hungry and it is cold and uncomfortable here on the floor. I stand up and look over the top of the chair at him but he is ignoring me. I am going to have to say something and so I will, "I might like to see the drawing of Smaug, I suppose if you really want me to see it." That sounds like I’m helping him out I think, doesn’t it?

"Oh, well , if you’d like to see it, then come on over and have a look."

I am over by the desk now and it is a very good drawing of a dragon. Bilbo has his arm around me and he’s showing me all about Smaug. He must have been a very fierce dragon indeed and I suppose that Bilbo isn’t really a coward. It’s warmer over here and Bilbo is letting me sit in his lap while we look at the drawing. Maybe I will have a bit to eat with Bilbo and then try pouting on Frodo and Merry tomorrow. Poor old Bilbo just doesn’t understand how these things work, but Frodo and Merry will know what to do. Tonight I will spend some time with Bilbo because he needs me to look out for him. He knows a great deal about Dragons, but he doesn’t know anything at all about lads my age!

The End