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| Untold Tales of the Mark: The Banishment of Éomer by Katzilla | 84 Review(s) |
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| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 66 on 4/3/2007 |
| Oh my goodness gracious! No, Eowyn, there is hope. Eomer is with you! But how will she ever know that. To have missed their reunion by but moments! Before I read this, Katzilla, I had to go back and re-read the previous chapter. It was so potent and powerful, that I wanted to bring it with me to your newest chapter. And I'm very glad I did. This is excellent and I feel so badly for Eomer - but also for the dear handmaiden. What bravery she shows! Author Reply: Hi Agape, and again sorry for responding with such delay, but it seems that I've been fighting on many different fronts these past weeks, not least of all the new chapter (which was a BLOODY hard one!!) Please be assured that your reviews are always a highlight for me, and I am always very interested in your reactions to the things happening in "Banishment". I was very happy to read that the last two chapters made such an impression on you and hope that the new one will not disappoint you. Best, Katzilla | |
| Aurendil | Reviewed Chapter: 66 on 4/3/2007 |
| When the black breath blows, And death's shadow grows, Come Athelas! Come Athelas! Life to the dying, In the king's hand lying! JRR Tolkien Author Reply: Ah, yes, this would be handy right now, wouldn't it? But I need to decide yet whether that weed actually grows around Edoras. If not, Aragorn may have to pull some other trick out of his (or Gandalf's, rather ;->) hat. thanks for the beautiful line from the master himself! | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 65 on 2/13/2007 |
| This is one of the most powerful and well-written chapters in this wonderful story. You make us feel Eomer's anguish as he is first mistaken for Theodred, then must confront Eothain, feels rejected by Theoden, only to reach the bedside of the comatose Eowyn. I doubt he can go any lower; he must feel at this point that the Worm has won. Author Reply: Hi Eilenach, I must apologize for the long delay with the new chapter; I was on vacation for four weeks and upon my return, was extremly busy AND unable to get into the depressed mindset the last chapters of the story feature. But I do hope that the new chapter meets with your approval. ;-> Thank you so much for this review though; I was completely overwhelmed to find that this chapter seemed to hit a nerve not only with you. I feel horrible to make poor Éomer suffer so much though. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts! | |
| Agape4Gondor | Reviewed Chapter: 65 on 2/8/2007 |
| IMHO - best chapter yet! Probably because I thought things were winding down - but the confrontation between Eomer and ALL - and his own feelings were so profound and well-written! Just a couple examples that I loved... 'the city bells silver sound rang' - it is good, in the midst of all that happened to 'hear' these bells. 'man's silent anguish saddened Aragorn' - 'nothing to be done' - so sad... 'befitting his status' - perfect little moment - nice for your readers The whole paragraph about Eomer's reaction to being called 'Theodred' - absolutely hideous for him... first his grief for his 'brother' - then his grief at his people's betrayal... *sobs* 'how was he...ruler...doubted him' - incredible question - how indeed? The whole paragraph of his meeting with Eothain - I do NOT look forward to the next chapter because of this... AND his meeting with Theoden - oh dear! Absolutely devastating moments for this good man, warrior, and patriot! 'but in the end, nobody did.' How heinous for Eomer - and for Eothain. I cannot believe the sorrow, pain, and agony over this. 'a deep chasm impossible to bridge' - yet I hope it can be bridged. 'spiritually abandoned him' - there is nothing more to say - this says it all for the son of Rohan... Again - incredible chapter...... Author Reply: Hi Agape4gondor, I thank you, too, so much for this review, which found me totally unprepared. I was quite surprised to find that this chapter struck such a nerve with readers, even if I am really mean to poor Éomer. There are a few chapters left yet before this tale ends, and now that I have found my way back into the dark atmosphere after a wonderful vacation, I hope the delays in my posting will be history. Best wishes & happy reading! | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 64 on 1/29/2007 |
| Argh! you're letting Grima get away! Again, why is Theoden not suffering withdrawal from the poison? | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 45 on 1/29/2007 |
| I like it that you have made Grima such a capable and cunning evil character. He really does have a great plan. The tunnel is camouflaged AND guarded, he has high-value hostages to ensure his safety, and he is well-supplied. Too bad his control over his Dunlendings is slipping. And a great Eowyn angst scene. While nothing personally BAD has happened to Eowyn yet, witnessing Elfhelm's whipping and being tied and blindfolded to a bed and left to THINK about what might be coming is almost as bad. Author Reply: I think a story cannot succeed if the villain is weak. The stronger and more cunning the villain, the more you force your hero to work, and in the end, you will let him shine. I will admit freely though that it can be hard to counter the smart villains measures; I sure busted a braincell or two trying to come up with (halfway) believable scenario of how the Rohírrim would act against the snake. And yes, I'm sure being forced to watch as a person you love and respect is being tortured can very well destroy you, even if the object of the hurting is not oneself. | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 54 on 1/29/2007 |
| If I were to suggest that you completely rework any of this story, it would be the Isengard chapters. You stated earlier in the story that Eomer has matured and outgrown his hot-headedness. Yet the folly of his attack on Isengard is extreme. He already knows the terrain in Rohan, and I'm sure he uses scouts to bring back intelligence on any enemy he goes against. But here, he has no idea what he is getting into! He doesn't know the terrain or what is inside the wall. No cavalry commander worth his salt is going to lead a charge where there is only a very narrow entryway into his field of battle. Furthermore, he is surprised by the pits on either side of the path inside, keeping him constrained even once he is through the gates. And then to have the Ents accidentally slaughter hundreds of men and horses is just too cruel. And yes, I do know that in real life these extreme mess-ups happen. But it sounds very out of place for a Tolkien story. I sense that you were trying your best to (1) do something different from the book/movie so you needed to be away from Helm's Deep and (2) keeps the orcs from destroying so much of Rohan while they were on their way to Helm's Deep. Perhaps a battle on the other side of the Isen, where they are losing until the Huorns come from behind the orcs and the Riders escape by going back across the river on their horses? Author Reply: I see your point, but I think the attack results from sheer desperation. Everything Éomer hears points toward the fact that Saruman is breeding more orcs with each passing day, and that he is in the process of gathering all his forces. The Rohírrim's only chance seems to lie in a "surprise attack" while his army has not yet fully gathered. The problem is, that it won't march for Rohan until it has fully gathered. If they attack on terrain they don't know, it could go very wrong; yes. But if they wait until they are faced with an army that outnumbers them 1000:1 (always considering the worst-case-scenario), that will be at least as hopeless! Of two less than perfect choices, Éomer chose the one that he believed offered them at least a minimal chance at survival. And the Ents entry into battle... I agree that was cruel. But I saw no way to avoid the mayhem, and must ask if you think it indeed more cruel than these poor horsies being crushed underneath the Mumakil's feet in "RotK"? I've always loved grim, dark stories (I suppose you wouldn't have guessed ;->), and I try to do what seems to be consistent with the tone of my story (and hopefully, the original work as well... which *is* quite cruel in places, too). So I must disappoint you and say that I won't change the Isengard-scenario, but thank you for your ideas nonetheless. Those questions always force me to think why I wrote a scene in a specific way, and if I can't justify it to myself, I *will* change it... and if I don't, I will know more clearly why I did it this particular way. | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 58 on 1/29/2007 |
| Ooh, a great scene with Grima and Eowyn. One can almost feel sorry for Grima, who loves Eowyn so much (but in the wrong way) that he destroys her. Eowyn here reminds me of the elves, who (in fanon at least) can flee their life when forced to do something awful against their will. I can just imagine how her conscious mind has retreated far, far away, so that whatever is happening to her is actually happening to someone else. I don't understand why Theoden is not suffering more. If he is addicted to the poison, and Grima has withheld it so that Theoden is now conscious, why is he not in agony? Author Reply: Re. Théoden: Well, the way I thought is that Gríma lied about the poison, as well (he lied about practically everything, so why not about the poison?). Perhaps the stuff doesn't even cause any withdrawal symptoms? What if the cause of those was an altogether different poison, to keep Gamling and Éowyn obedient? And now he wants Théoden to be clear, because he wants to show him his army tearing up Edoras. he wouldn't do anything to weaken him now. | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/29/2007 |
| “My own uncle deems me a curse to his house. I am expelled for a deed I haven’t committed, and none of the men I grew up amongst speak against it though they know for the wrongness of these accusations.” He swallowed visibly. “It hurts, Éowyn… more than death. Given a choice, I would have chosen the gallows instead of this.” Great line, showing us the depths of Eomer's despair. Author Reply: "My own uncle deems me a curse to his house..." And this line will continue to haunt him for some time to come. I guess it must the hardest thing to hear coming from a family member's mouth. | |
| Eilenach | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/29/2007 |
| "It was strange how at the same time both the river’s surroundings and the presence of his cousin and the ‘other’ reality were completely plausible to him. Some strange dreams he was having these days." You have started this story with great literary style. The conversation with Theodred allows you to set the time and circumstances of your story in a clever way. It's very nice to think of Theodred coming to Eomer in his dreams, explaining what has happened and then convincing Eomer of what he must do. The fading of the dream seamlessly takes us back to Edoras, and you start the angst right up. By the end of this chapter, when Theoden banishes Eomer, we really feel how alone Eomer is. Author Reply: Hi Eilenach, and welcome to the show! It is always nice to hear from a new reader, even as the story is (slowly but surely) drawing towards its end. And how great that you are such an avid reviewer, I felt like it was Christmas and my birthday all on the same day. ;-) So, thank you! I'm glad you like my epic tale of Rohirric angst, and be assured that I read your comments and constructive criticism with great interest. | |